Deconstructing the Race

 A success with a few things to learn

Key Stats

The big statistic was the finish. Nothing too crazy, coming in at a respectable time overall. Not my fastest, but far from my slowest. That part is in the books. A total of 10,444 feet of climbing overall, max heart-rate of 163 BPM, with an overall average of 123 BPM. I still had a hard time staying with groups and covered probably half the distance solo. I stayed on task for all the climbs, despite having one mechanical issue at KoM. Fueling was pretty simple, but effective for the day. Most likely was calorie deficient at times, but not enough to slow me down. At the finish there were no real problems, strains or injury. Just a ton of relief to have it finally in the books after two years.

Starting Line, Weather & General Conditions

Temps at the starting line were near 50°, but calm. I chose to go out with light arm-warmers and light full finger gloves. This combination turned out to be exactly correct. Dropping them both at Montpelier for a pair of riding gloves. A little breezy going into the first climb, but given the 22 miles and time, that quickly went away. No wind over the top of Strawberry, making that last 3 mile climb less of a problem. Mid 60's coming out of Montpelier, with fairly calm conditions over Geneva Summit. The wind picked up gong from Geneva to Salt River, with largely a tailwind in places. Maybe 70° climbing KoM, but clear all the way up. Cloud cover started to appear on the descent into Star Valley, with some serious cross gusting at the bridge coming off the bottom. This turned into mostly a tailwind with occasional cross gusts going all the way into Afton. This stayed the same all the way across Star Valley, until about 4 miles from Alpine where it was completely a crosswind. This gave us a pretty good tailwind going up the canyon for maybe half way. Temps stayed nice all the way in, never really getting  too warm. The occasional cloud cover was at the right places. Some stubborn wind going from Hoback to the Highway crossing, but manageable. Overall, nearly an ideal day to finish with the sunlight.

Road Hazards and Mechanical Issues

Our starting group seemed to have a hard time conveying hand signals - say for road hazards. I was about 1/3 the way back from the front for the first 30 miles. Being dark didn't help matters for the first 30 minutes, but by the time we were going through Smithfield, they were still leading us through potholes and garbage. One such pothole hit exceptionally hard, causing my tool bag to drop down from the seat rail. This affected my rear brake making me think there was a problem with the mech itself. I asked a guy in my group next to me to look at it, but he didn't know what was going on. Finally another cat rode up on me and told me what had happened, as the same had done so with his tool bag. I still wasn't sure if my brakes were okay, but it did seem to clear up before the 50+ MPH descent into Riverdale. After turning up at Riverdale, the bottom bracket started making an annoying sound. After climbing to the feed zone one mile from the top, I stopped for a about two minutes and barrowed a hex key to check my crank arms. I also resecured the tool bag and checked the rear brake mech prior to the fast descent off that mountain. The noise persisted through most of the day but didn't seem to have an effect on performance. While climbing KoM, I was on the wheel of another rider about two miles up when I walked into a rumble strip while standing up - full pressure on the brake lever hoods. That jolted the lever assembly loose and dropped it down about an inch. Once at the top, I tried pulling it back up, but obviously not well enough. For about next 80 miles I fought that stupid thing - every time I stood up to grind. By the time I was going up Snake River Canyon I was trying to adjust it before I would stand up - every single time. I made a quick stop at the final neutral feed zone and forced the assembly up just a bit higher than originally placed - which was  far better than what I'd been dealing with. All in all, the road was hard on both myself and the bike - but we made it without much problem anyway.

Fuel & Hydration

I've had a bad habit of taking way more than I ever use - carrying it all day for no reason. Leaving Logan I took two full water bottles, two Ensure Plus, a bag of fruit snacks in the right hand pocket, a banana, three gu's and two stinger waffles. I downed the banana just past Smithfield, and one gu just before Preston. I downed one Ensure Plus at the neutral at the top of  Strawberry while checking my crank arm. I rolled into Montpelier with half a bottle of Power Aide still on the bike. I downed another Ensure Plus at that feed zone, some pickle juice and some water. Took another Ensure Plus and two fresh bottles of Power Aide. Once over Geneva and on my way to Salt River, I stopped for two minutes to take on some water, down the Ensure Plus and get more pickle juice. Again at the top of Salt River (after KoM), more pickle juice, some straight Coke and filled one water bottle with electrolytes. Afton was more pickle juice, another Ensure Plus, some Power Aide and water - leaving with two full bottles of Power Aide for what would be roughly an eighty minute ride to Alpine. Alpine was the same as everywhere before - pickle juice, Ensure Plus and Power Aide and of course more Coke. The final Neutral Feed Zone 18 miles out was more pickle juice, filled one bottle with Hammer Electrolytes and a little more Coke. One handful of fruit snacks before crossing the highway and it was pushing hard to the finish. When I finished, almost all the fruit snacks, both Stinger Waffles and three gu's were still in my back pockets. Caffeine was limited to the Coke and one gu early on in the day. I had enough that I could have worked out of a "bonk" situation if needed, but not enough to slow me down. Pretty much the right stuff for the particular day.

Climbing & Setbacks

I knew going in where I'd get dropped, get hurt and get humiliated. As usual climbing was my weakness. I just can't climb fast - like at race pace. I'll get there, but I have a tendency to let off just at the top of a roller, or refuse to "blow up" to simply hang on. This goes for several of the rally fast groups coming off of Strawberry. It's too easy to go too hard and pay the price later. It's also too easy to let up and not go hard enough - a fine line on a 202 mile bike race. The key is to ride your own race - always knowing where both thresholds are. Still, on every climb I stayed diligent - never letting up. As much as I may have wanted to stop for a minute, I know that cost was too high and wasn't willing to pay that short term price for such a long term proposition. If there were any setbacks they would have been not staying on some better groups a little longer. Still.....execution was satisfactory.

Segmenting

It is very easy to let things get into ones head. Throughout the day I stayed focused on exactly the immediate task at hand. Getting to the top of next climb, getting past a long open stretch, catching a group to give me a break. At the end of the day, thinking about the last seven miles didn't creep into my head until I was across the highway and going through the rural areas of Jackson. At that, I was still focused on driving hard to the trail turnoff, then to the tunnel, after that the bridge - finally off the dirt and onto the final seven miles. From there, it was focusing on the first four miles until the "5K" sign. While hanging on the tail end of some relay guys, we started to get "barn sour" and where pushing it even harder yet. At about the "2K" sign, I could tell they were going to shake me and ride in together. By that time we can see the finish line. At the "1K" sign I had let them go, but still putting down a hard effort - alone. Focusing on the finish line, my attention was on my watch and cycle computer - capturing and freezing the final details for the day. With the exception of about eight miles out, coming off the bridge, the thought of actually pulling this off after two years had not crossed my mind - and that lasted for only a few seconds. In the end, it was a day of dozens of segments all strung together - and then it was over nearly as quickly as it had started.

Recovery

For the most part things held together pretty well. A short drive over the mountain to Driggs took whatever I may have felt for pain completely out of the picture. Not really wanting to eat, a quick shower and a run to the store (that was closed) made me feel almost normal. No aching muscles, inflamed tendons - nothing. That is until this this morning when my kidneys reminded me they had been abused. I don't sleep well in hotels to begin with, so the rest wasn't adequate. The drive home was nice, but still the kidneys reminding me they were not happy. So goes it - the price of a day riding hard and pushing an old body to some type of limits. A couple days and I'll be out on the mountain bike(s). Probably do some weight training with a recovery spin in the morning. A little more rest and some clear fluids - we'll be back to normal again in a few day, whatever normal may look like.

Going Forward

There are a lot of things to unpack from this past season - to this point anyway. Yesterday was simply a waypoint onto the next thing. There is still plenty of season to be had, as well as several "loose ends" to be resolved (more on that later). For now, it is assessing what are the costs, opportunities, assets and liabilities - against all other things of importance. Afterall, what is really important anyway? Why is it I do what I do? Who benefits? Who pays the price? There is next year and the years after that, but where is it all going? That is a lot of questions for one paragraph. Maybe I'll leave it there for now......

What is important......

This race landed on our 40th wedding anniversary. It has happened before, but this was the 40th - a pretty big deal. My better half is integral in making all of this happen. All along during the year. Putting up with my stupid stuff. Making the feed support crew thing work - everything and I mean everything. I'm darn lucky that she has stuck with me for all of these years and wouldn't be a fraction of what I have become otherwise without her there. At the end of the day she is all that matters. She has been and still is my inspiration. I'm not half as tough as she is and that is no exaggeration. In fact, when it gets hard and I think it hurts, I think about what she has been through and know what I may be experiencing is nothing in comparison. There are not words to fill the void that is the gratitude I owe to my wife.

I'll leave it at that tonight. No link. No riding hard. Time to reflect and take inventory......

Gone Racing!

 

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It's Time to go!  "Please Turn Me Over" 

Last Minute Rides & Details

It seems like a life time ago....

 A short season - a long time gone..

This year started many months ago - right, like 9 months ago. The dry winter did allow for early riding with some distance, but work commitments like everything else in life, seemed to get in the way. Looking at the Garmin stats, there have been a lot of rides, with a respectable sum of miles despite what seems otherwise. They just didn't seem to be the endurance rides I've made in the past. There have been challenges - for sure. Life is like that, baked into the mix. This past year has made me personally look at everything differently. Saturday morning will happen regardless of most anything else. The unknown is definitely worse than knowing  - or something like that. Realizing that we have more control over our own situation than we want to admit is a big leap. That time is gone - call it a "sunk cost". It's not coming back. Now it is a matter of what we make of that "sunk cost" - perhaps turn the worst of any situation into an investment. Positive thinking; now there's an idea.

Focus, Confidence & Fear

Now there's a combination - but what a mix. The past two years have soaked into my head. Last night I found myself fixated on an old LOTOJA elevation graphic posted on the wall of my office. It is right next to a picture of my dad's plane in flight shortly after V-E day. It is also part of another picture that reminds me of  - well, me. Looking at those elevations reminds me of where it will hurt, where I'll get dropped and when it is likely to get dark in my own head - for a while anyway. I know that course. I know everything about that day. I have walked into the race with absolute confidence, only to be crushed. Other years I have showed up with no expectations to finish with a calm feeling of peace - as if I hadn't been on my bike at all that day. Standing at the line in the dark early morning, hearing all the last minute instructions, checking the gear - you can't see the finish from there. You know it is out there and can't wait to meet the challenges of the day - not thinking about the pain yet to be experienced. Before you know it, we're rolling over the line, hearing the beep, beep, beep, clip, snap, beep - timing chips crossing the initial indicator, cleats snapping in, watches being set......and then the rush of wind that comes with a few hundred wheel-sets cutting through the quiet morning air. The buzz of everyone's freewheel spinning as we head down Second North. A few light hearted comments - but everyone feeling the same. Soon we are sailing in a great draft and the day light breaks over the Mount Logan Range. A couple guys will be dealing with bike issues, while others are trying to get comfortable in the group. A little chit chat to break the tension, but we all just want to get into the business side of things. Focus is what takes over above all else before too long.

They say courage is what overtakes the unknown when you choose to do so. The unknown is what stimulates fear. Rolling up into the fetal position is no way to approach this life. Meeting it head-on can also be a bit daunting. I personally have a tendency to look back on what I feared at some point, only to recognize the outcome itself - totally forgetting how paralyzing the unknown had become. Attitude is everything and getting past the unknown takes a positive outlook - courage. Right now I could use a little encouragement.....

SR39 MP44 - Heading for home

Going Home

I've seen MP44 only once this year and not necessarily the way I would like to have done so. Still, seeing the top and blowing past that indicator is a milestone. MP44 is that place that tells you "it is all down hill from here" - mostly. I've made a lot of this location over the years, as it represents more than a road marker. "Bring it on home" has always been the go to associated with the post referencing MP44. Call it nostalgic, but I'm going with something from the same era - just opposite sides of the spectrum. The Zeppelin track was released on II roughly 18-months before John Denver (Henry Jon Deutschendorf Jr) released "Take me home, country road". Quite literally the same era. This past year during the World Cup, the song was dusted off - quite regularly. It became kind of an unofficial anthem of sorts. Never a John Denver fan - probably because my "hippie" fourth grade teacher was obsessed with one of his songs, but I do respect him as a writer and performer. There are several of his tracks that are so simple, but yet deep. At the end of the day, going home is all about what makes any of us feel comfortable - the familiar. MP44 has always been that for me. You can't see it from there, but you know - somehow, you're going home.

Click here for something a little different - "Take me home country roads" JD

Ride HARD! - NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Thanks can never be enough - To the Supporters

 Humility

She'll be dry soon - Pine View

There is a ton of humility that comes with this program and the supporters remind me of it all the time. This year has been different, but in it's own way. The past two years have been a challenge. Between physical limitations and schedules, all things "Porpoise" seemed uncertain at best. Coming into this season there was a lot of trepidation. The total number of riders coming into the Huntsman program was really down. It wasn't only a few years ago we fielded roughly 110 riders with donations approaching $250K. This year, the directory shows 39 active participants. Donations are down as well - which is always a true indicator of the economy as a whole. Road riding has been on a skid for the past 10 years it seems, with what appears to be a minor resurgence in interest - but still low. It used to be you could find an organized club ride or century most every weekend from about the middle of May through the middle of August. Now days, they are few and far between - at best. More mountain bike events with even more gravel programs. I guess people are just wanting to get off the road - and I see why. Going into a couple weeks ago, it appeared things were going to be lean. One or two supporters pulled in, but things were looking.....desperate. Leave it to the crew chief - my better half. Over the course of a few days the minimums were met, taking a ton of pressure off. Still, with that relief comes a certain amount of humility that comes with a knowledge of how important a solid support organization is for such an endeavor. As the time draws closer, the stress gets more intense. Having this support is truly a blessing!

The Supporters

Hawk

This guy is the greatest! I've come to know him in the professional and trade field and am impressed with his grit and tenacity. A great tradesman in his own right, he has the ability to stare down the most daunting of situations with coolness and resolve. If you look up grit in the phonebook, you'll find his number right there. C.M. - you are a stud and I am grateful for our working relationship and friendship.

JB (Anonymous)

Anonymous? right. There are no secrets from the Porpoise. This guy deals with pressure like a steam boiler - but never cracks. Dealing with a family and profession, he is on his own way to greatness - one disappointing crisis at a time. Legitimately one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, his is also wicked smart and getting more so by the day. Great things ahead for Mr. Anonymous and I hope to aid in that delivery. Thanks for being patient....

Jeff (the longest driver)

Here's a guy that could write a book on being stellar. Almost a deliberate poker face, he is a reliable friend and ally. A ginger with a focus more like it - he knows what is important and an expert in keeping things in order. Above all else, a family man that knows the value of such things and an example to us that need someone for looking up to. Everyone needs a friend like this guy.

The Sisters of Cool (they wrote the book)

Ah, the sisters. I've said it before, my sisters wrote the book on being cool. In fact, it wasn't "Pet Sounds" that inspired "Sgt Peppers", it was my sisters - no doubt. The Beatles eventually broke up because they couldn't match the "cool" of my sisters. Honestly, I had no idea what cool really looked like until I was old enough to see what it wasn't. By then, they were out in the world setting new standards and writing the rules. These two in particular gave to me what have always been my most memorable Christmas gifts - that I have mentioned several times before (specific albums). We've been through a few things of our own together over the years, but before that they were the earliest supporters of The Porpoise. With that in mind, I had better not let them down.

The Amazon Driver (on his motor scooter)

He's not really an Amazon driver, but his motor cycle gear sure makes him look like it. C.W. is the best hearted kid of the crew. Sure, he has his limits, but he also is a rock solid supporter - of everyone and everything. He's figuring it out at his own pace and has big plans. He always takes to time to pet the dog and cats on his way in or out of the house. He enjoys the familiarity of home, but is also a devoted friend to those with whom he associates. Thanks for rolling up....

Mr. & Mrs. Quiet (and the growing crew of dudes)

This little crew is growing. Don't let the quiet fool you, there is a lot happening there - just ask "Julio". It's always a good day when they come to visit. Generally everyone is pretty tired when its over as well. A busy schedule, with a lot of ground to cover, they are going places and setting standards as they go along. It's always good to know they are in your corner. They make a difference.

Number 2 & Company

"The Company" has been part of this event for several years. They have done support during the race, as well as contributing to "The Porpoise" along the way. "Number 2" has been doing this since the second year and has seen a lot of race day stuff. Everything from ice on the mustache going into Preston, to fires going into Jackson. The kids just think its something every crazy old person does to prove a point - and then there are the normal people. They know what it takes from start to finish year after year. Great supporters and on their way to "Wally World" race weekend - but still driving the old man forward.

C&B - the dynamo family

If there is a "Number 2" then there has to be a "Number 1". It's been quite a few years, but they were in the race as well. They know the sacrifice needed, the suffering and the uncertainty of what can unfold during the race. Life does what it does and now they have a crew of there own - with all the things that go along with that sort of program. I'd love to see them on course during the race again. Until then, it is great to have their support all the same. I do hope to see you on a course - any course again soon......

Race day (and every day) Support Crew

And finally - the home crew, or "POD" as it were. It cannot be overstated the sacrifices that are made year after year to pull this together. The travelling circus that is "race day support". It starts early and ends late. Always wondering if the old man is going to make it in again. After the past two years, they have seen many different sides of the operation. Last year at Afton supporting the race event itself was fun - but different. They've seen what disappointment looks like as well as the success. I couldn't ask for a better crew and for that matter a better crew chief. Letting them down is pretty hard. This year is a time for redemption and promise. Thanks you guys....

A couple more posts pre-race day

A busy week with a tight schedule over all. Nerves are winding up and things are set. Expect a couple more posts this week detailing packet pickup, start times, course details and equipment updates. Of course there will be the annual mass post Saturday morning before we shove off - early. Our group toes the line at 06:26 with what appears to be a large and fast operation - again.  

Please check in during this upcoming week...

Click here for "Instrumental Illness" Butch & Greg with crew

Ride HARD!

The Thing About Monte

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A familiar place

Monte Cristo

If you know, then you know. Monte is an old friend - brutally honest at that. The climb starts out of Huntsville around 5,000 feet ASL. By the time you get to MP44, you are at just under 9,000 feet ASL. From MP44 to nearly MP50 you roll over the shoulders all above 8,900 feet. Nothing to fake here. The traffic is busier than it used to be, but still a great day - call it a long day. Coming off the top you are flying, as if you are still 12 years old. By the time you hit MP 35 near the Slate Spring, your are pedaling down hill to maintain 30+ MPH. You know the drill if you've followed this blog before. I love that ride, but hate the commitment and suffering that comes along with it.

Not a lot has changed in the last 45 years - aside from all the no trespassing signs along the way. It takes me back to far simpler times. Most places there isn't any cell service. There are places that you can see for ever - almost fifty years behind you if looking close enough. The season is too short when it comes to this place. Bear activity at the camp ground this year has created some problems, but there is still cold water at the hydrants. Unfortunately this week isn't going to allow much time to head back up there, but lets hope it pans out.

Upper Calf Creek Falls - Escalante

If you know, then you know....

A buddy of mine sent this to me this afternoon. The story is too much to go into at this point. I believe I did cover some of it a few years ago, but that's not for today. The changes are stunning, but the memories......those scars run deep. Going back sometimes is not as easy as one would want to believe. In fact, you can never really go back - anywhere. Still, the memory of what began there is haunting. That was the summer I first heard those words "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then". At the time it seemed filler, but as time rolled by - prophetic. The world was such a big place, so far away it seemed. We never realized how far we had ventured into the pool until it was too late. I will never forget the hope and dreams I had after that first trip. I had never felt the beatings of life like I have after this many years. Still.....my heart aches knowing what I do, versus what I didn't at that time. I wouldn't change a thing.

Promises made, lives were changed - or so it seemed.

Making Changes

Adapting to a few bike changes will keep me in the valley tomorrow. It will still be 104 miles with 4,000 feet of climbing. Full up 28mm R3's on the DT Swiss. The bars are rolled a bit forward with the hoods dropped. Back on the 172.5 crank arms, as the climbing demands the leverage against the slightly taller tires. Hoping the setup meets the need so I can get back over Monte Wednesday. LOTOJA is less than 2 weeks out. Donations are flat - like pretty much everything else this year. Honestly this may be it for the Porpoise and the old Six-13 both. The bike has over 40K miles and is not as fast as the new stuff. Technology has changed, but the bike is getting tired - as am I. Some metrics are okay, others....shite! Tomorrow will tell me a lot. Stick around.

Check back in a couple days. We need to see MP 44 on the fast end.....

Its hard to believe  - 22 years ago!

Click here for JT and Joe at Cross Roads 2004 "Stream Roller Blues"

Ride HARD!

There is not a substitute

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Sizing things up

Water getting low out at Pine View....

Meeting a struggle-head on is not always as easy as it sounds. The farther away you are from a task or situation, the easier it is to make it sound "doable".  And then the moment finally arrives and it is game time. In the end, you will never perform at "game time" any better than was done in practice. And since practice is where all the payment through pain and suffering happens, sometimes practice is what gets short changed. Meeting the struggle head-on begins with practice - developing one's character.  And character - well, that's another story. That often said it is what you do when nobody else is looking which defines true character. However, faced with the hard facts of a situation that may be harder than expected can lead to self-doubt - maybe even cowardice. A strong word, but true. Living to fight another day may not be cowardice, but make it a habit and there are no more battles to fight before you can change the character. At some point, you must meet it and remedy the matter - to your favor.

Not a cheat-code for everything

When panic sets in, it is human nature to find a quick and easy solution - a cheat-code perhaps. Cycling is no different, in fact very much like everything else in life. The bicycle industry is constantly having to reinvent themselves to stay relevant. Sure bike tech has improved, but in some areas, not as much as they'd have you think. Frame geometry, tire width, wheel sets - they all have seen major changes over the years. Perhaps the most notable changes for road bikes in the past five years have been disc brakes and electronic shifters. Those are legit, but not necessarily obsoleting the previous tech. Disc and calipers are more expensive to purchase and maintain. Performance wise they do stop better in adverse conditions, but they typically won't make you faster. I've caught myself in that vey situation, making changes to offset losses in other areas. I've tried slightly shorter crank-arms, cleat positions - even wider tires. That seems to be the latest - wider tires with lower pressures. The past 8 years or so I've been rolling on 25mm wide versus the 23mm. I've recently been rolling on 28mm, which is as large as my bike can take. The tires are a bit taller as well, which reduces my gearing by a little bit. Is it faster? Dunno. What I do know is the tire itself has a huge impact on everything. The trainers I use are a heavy and robust all season that I know a couple guys have used during LOTOJA. The rolling resistance is much worse than the higher end tires I use, that just dont last as long. At the end of the day you do everything needed to be successful, but paying your dues doesn't change a thing. If you don't make those payments, expectations should be in line with that result.

Don't mention yesterday

For fear of screwing up my "plans", with less than three weeks to go, I won't mention anything about yesterday - only to say it was a disaster. My initial inclination is that I'm a coward. My hope is that I'm more methodical about the situation at hand and can build on a bad situation. We are approaching critical mass and there is no room for error. That said, I can clearly see a pathway to success, but it is very specific and can bare no margin. In short, I can't chicken out and have to accept the suffering that comes with this commitment. With this in mind, updates will be a bit more frequent between now and packet pickup. Milestones have to be met. Stick around and see how it goes.....

Farther Down the Line

Lyle is a wordsmith of sorts. He can tell a story - as well he should being an A&M alum. He tells the story of a young cowboy that almost makes it to the buzzer, but gives up. "one hand around the other"...."letting the pickup man come in". Making that grab that says I've had enough - come and get me. "He sure drew a bad one" - "one nobody could ride", the consul that tries to make a bad situation seem more than anyone could handle. "Better luck next time" as if a next time always comes through, but we know eventually they all come to an end. At the end of the day, this is really about all of us, and especially myself. We never really know how close we are to the buzzer when we put one hand around the other - only until we ride it out. "Push will always come to shove, in that midnight rodeo".

Lets hear it for that young cowboy......

Click here for Lyle Lovett "Farther Down the Line"

Ride HARD!

Gut Check - The Truth

 PLEASE Click here to Donate to the Huntsman Cancer Institute

"She's running low Skipper!"

Owning it

When is it ever enough to simply recognize a problem? I'm talking about inner reflection and examination. I've become pretty good at identifying problems, particularly those of my own making. I can even go as far as prescribing a remedy. That is the easy part - call it "arm-chair quarterbacking" at it's core. Implementing the remedy is the hard part, but not yet the most difficult. Many a diet or exercise program has been started with only the best of intentions. But it is the follow through that matters the most. Sure starting is a milestone and even making it through the first milestone period, but what about the assessment and follow up? Lets face it, we've mastered the first few steps toward success; 1) Identify the problem, 2) Develop a solution (plan), 3) Execute said solution..... but we often end there. After implementation of the plan, it is necessary to reassess and evaluate - then repeat the cycle with modifications as needed. When not completing this cycle (honestly), it is only a cruel joke of self gratification - LYING to myself! Lying to ones self if not a healthy habit.

Success: Knowing it when you see it

It would seem we recognize what  is perceived as "success" by simple observation. I suggest this is merely a perceived result of what we may believe to be success. True success in its absolute form is what cannot be readily seen. To succeed requires more than what can be observed in passing. People who succeed do more than persevere, they live IT non-stop. So....what is IT? Let's narrow  this down to two fundamental things; What you do in your "down time" and how you control appetites and passions. What you see when observing a perceived successful person, is merely the result of these two things. What is it they do on their "day off", or when they get a break? How do they manage their personal passions and appetites? Do they get caught up is endless "doom scrolling", binge eat potato chips, take extended afternoon naps (because they can)? You get the picture. What we don't see is the real success  - the things that really matter.

Maximizing your gift of time

Time is a funny thing. Kind of a commodity, but everyone has the same allotment every day - 24-hours to be exact. It is irrevocable and non-refundable at the same time - until it ends. And then it doesn't matter anymore. Until that point, success is determined by what is done with that allotted time. It's not luck. If you want to be lucky, set yourself up to be lucky - and no, buying a a lottery ticket doesn't count. Ask yourself at any given moment;  how will this particular thing that I'm doing at this particular moment appear as my outward appearance. Does it truly represent me and what I want to be, or will it keep me from exhibiting my success. And by exhibiting, I do me achieving that level of success that is yours to be had. Time is a gift. Make the most of it and yourself together.

Overcoming

Our bodies are pretty amazing machines. Again, another gift in itself. But man, talk about a wild mustang. We are wired with some pretty intense motivations - lacking a better description. We have these appetites and our own passions. We become conditioned to want things we really don't otherwise need. Left unchecked, this conditioning leads us into a deficit with our own regard. We focus on the wrongs things - and by wrong I mean those things we had once set out as desires and goals. Weight gain is brought about one potato chip at a time (what's with the potato chips). It is the same for everything. Staying focused is key. Watch a video of a carrier aircraft pilot landing on the "boat". They quite often won't even so much as blink while trying to "stick it". Yet, we too often take our eye off "the prize", if even for just a few seconds. Back to that body thing again, it tends to go where we are looking.  Sure, enjoy life and the beauty of our surroundings, but keep your eyes forward while in motion. And motion....well that is another matter. Keep moving forward toward the objective. Moments of distraction and weakness slowly add up to a variation in course. The key is to master that wild mustang. Learning to control your machine is the second key component to individual triumph.

Assessment

Assess, plan, execute, reassess - the loop of virtually any progress. It seems we are generally pretty good with an initial assessment and even a plan. Execution sometimes becomes a struggle as we tend to be overly ambitious toward our end result. Breaking down a task into smaller individual components. keeps things real. The 1% rule speaks directly to this (improving by only 1% each day). However, the ongoing assessment is too often omitted from the day to day operation. You will have victories as well as setbacks. In both cases a reassess, own it - all of it. There may be times when the setbacks simply stack up and the victories seem a distant mirage. We also can't control everything in our sphere, but we can control how we react. When execution doesn't yield the desired results, assess and replan. Doing it the same way over and over, expecting a different result is literally stupid. Learn from your mistakes and be better for them. The darn things certainly have cost you a lot in this process - learn from them and maximize the sunk cost. It ain't coming back. Close that loop but don't throw away the investment. Study your failure - the enemy. Return for the next battle with a sharper edge. Providing there is still time on the game clock, reassess and return for another victory.

To whom.....

So this really is for nobody but me. Writing things down is an absolute way to internalize almost anything. My problems aren't necessarily the same as anyone else's. However, we all struggle and can learn from other peoples success and mistakes. We make our own way eventually - like it or not. But here's the thing, as some point we all have to own up to our life's decisions. The choice to to deflect and deny, wear it like a gravy stain, or simply make the most of it toward being the bet version of ourselves. Everything has a price. You pay for your mistakes as well as success. Cash in every once in a while...

Click here for "El Becko" - Jeff at his finest!

Ride HARD!

Know your Role

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A Morning Ride through the Dirt

The Big Picture

I ran across this field early one morning this past week. The picture certainly doesn't do it justice. A field with perhaps millions of flower blossoms that collectively make up a sea of wonder. The morning was very peaceful as well. It is often these moments that get taken for granted, where I may continue to ride by. The outbound through this location is a subtle grade - maybe 3%, on dirt. It makes for a good opportunity to push hard until hitting some oil maybe 12 minutes along. It's not a place I would ordinarily stop as I try to make the most of that stretch. All too often while riding, I blow past stuff thinking how I should have stopped for a quick picture. As the season goes on, priorities have to be kept making it not feasible. Over the many years, I have recorded countless images in my own mind that are nearly impossible to share. These personal memories are often what keeps me going.

The ideal course...for now

The 52-mile out & back elevation profile

Traffic and construction in various locations across the upper valley have limited my course selection this season. By now, three-hour fasting rides have to be second nature. The elevation profile above shows what has become my "go to" out & back, with 2,000 feet of climbing over 52-miles. It's not anything close to a tempo ride - far from it. The first climb is a great location to get the heartrate up followed by a very fast descent. Then on to the highway where speed over rollers takes focus. The dirt section slows things down, followed by a little kick over the bridge for some fast flowing down hill. Back on the highway and through the roundabout up to SR 39 - that familiar stretch that I have ridden countless times over the years. A loop around the south side past the monastery and finally finding my way (the long way) out to the point. A quick loop and it is all in reverse order going back. What was hard outbound is somewhat easier going home. And what was easy becomes....a challenge. The goal is to do this without putting a foot down. To build a little mental toughness, a turn up the training hill before going home adds to the excitement. Total moving time is a bit short of 3.5 hours, with an average speed...not quite where I want to be. Keep in mind that conditions are seldom the same from day to day. Therefore, the overall average speed isn't the objective, as much as the task of not putting a foot down. Everything else will take care of itself - in time.

Stand out

One small stand that has escaped the fence - standing out

Being part of the collective can have some advantages. Call it strength in numbers, or simple comfort. The importance of being unique and standing out on your own is tremendously important. Afterall, it is the individual strength in us all that bring things together. Never under estimate the importance of your own position in anything. Stand outside that fence and be you, doing you. Make an individual difference and don't settle for being lost in the sea of wonder. There are those times that together we are greater than the sum of our parts, but you have to begin with great parts.

Complacency

Complacency will kill you - one way or the other. I learned the hard way about talking myself into believing I didn't need to put in all the hard work and effort. Sometimes I would underestimate the task and believe it to be far easier than it truly was. That never ended well. I believe it is somewhat human nature to be easily lulled into a sleep of forgetfulness, having already known the hardship that await us. You've got to be real and recognize those things that will hold you back before it is too late. Hard work and effort have to be commensurate with the desired result. As stupid as it sounds, even Joey Chestnut trains to be the world champion hotdog eater that he is. Nothing is easy. If it is....it simply can't be real.

Key milestones this week

With only three weeks until the Cache Century, it is time for some serious road climbing. The key will be setting up for success, while not giving in to the temporary pain. Suffering is a choice, but it is necessary to meet the objective.

Here's one back when Clapton stopped by to work with The Blues Breakers - and the "Beano Burts" '59 Gibson.

Click here for a lesson in the basic blues.

Ride HARD!

 

Turning it up

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Exploring New Trails

New Dirt Trails

I've had to remind myself what riding for the sake of enjoying the event is really like. Getting the full suspension bike down, I've been hitting the local trails up in North Fork the past week or so. Kind of stupid that I don't ride up there more often, as I literally can roll right out of the garage and be on dirt single track within a few minutes. Better yet, I can get a good workout in the process, with rides lasting a couple hours. I have found this puts me frequently into Zone 4, with overall averages in the Zone 3 range. The past couple of years they (who ever they are) have cut probably 10+ miles of new trails - with some pretty good climbing. Given the recent warm, strike that, HOT weather, rolling out in the evening keeps me out of most of the heat and into the shade. The lack of rain has left the trails rather dusty, requiring bike servicing every night coming back home. The trails aren't too technical and can be fun on the descent with flowing speeds. Out on the farthest north side I'm regularly encountering moose, fox, big deer, grouse and of course the occasional snake. It reminds me why I do what I do in the first place - as hard as it can be.

It's like an Alman Brothers thing....

Eye on the Prize

I'm reminded of a post card from some number of years back (call it forty plus) from Pennsylvania Amish country, about two towns about four miles apart. It said something along the lines of  "If you go through the one particular town, you'll end up in Paradise". That's exactly where I'm at in this years progress. It's not the suffering I'll endure at the event, it is literally the aftermath of finishing that drives me. Sometimes that is what really matters - look past the hardship and suffering and focus on the intended result. At that, keep things in perspective - like be real. There are sacrifices to be made in getting there, but those things are handled one at a time, never in aggregate. All that said, time is spinning by, as it always does. Metrics and milestones are more important than ever. Discipline and diligence equally as much. What does it take to get to Paradise? Look up that town on Google Maps and you'll figure it out. You can't fake it!

Meeting a moose in the worst of all places.

Minor Changes to the Road Bike

Trying a new saddle (seat) on the old bike again. This is like the fifth or sixth saddle I've had on that same bike. They wear out over time and even break occasionally. Bike tech has change a lot over the years as well. I'm trying a fi'z-ik 3D printed system that really seems to work well. The  key to this is a proper fitting for the old "sits-bones" as it were. From there a proper position setup goes along way. The shorter cranks are allowing better over the top positioning in the pedal stroke itself. Add to that the rearward position of the cleats and it definitely feels different - probably better. The slightly shorter crank-arms do require more force to offset the loss of torque, but it is manageable thus far. The old cycle computer also had to go, as it was not reliable anymore. I'm using a very simple GPS system between all three of my bikes - making it more reliable and easier. In all, the old bike is still......an old bike, but it is still fast. Concerns about the frame have proven not be be an issue, but the mechanicals are wearing out. She'll make it through this season - with style.

Trying not to be too philosophical

I know some of my past posts have gotten a little....off track. Sure every once in a while we can go down that road, but I'm not trying to be a Chaman, or online influencer. There are times I think it important to get something out in the open, but for tonight, I'll focus on the progress. When it is time for that other stuff, well - you'll know.

Lets try something a little different. After all, our differences is what makes us fit together better.

Click here for Ella and Louis

Ride HARD!

Finally....

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Doing it with the road bike

A different route for the road bike.

It doesn't seem too many years ago riding almost anywhere across this valley and seldom encounter traffic. That included riding on any of what used to be four of the State highways in the valley. Like everything else, that has changed - a lot. With those changes also come other new opportunities. It used to be, a simple morning ride would be a 40 mile tempo-ride, or maybe a set of 30/30 intervals. The entire route would only have perhaps 850 feet of total elevation change. With the new road cutting up to SR 158, I can get nearly 2,000 feet of elevation, with a couple good climbs - in about 52 miles. This is also pushing me into areas and roads I wouldn't have otherwise taken the road bike in the past. Dust-Guarded dirt roads, loose gravel on some short climbing segments, hoping curbs - a regular Peter Sagan. I still have to push it to maintain a respectable average moving speed. One descent pushes nearly 50 MPH - when traffic permits. The overall statistics are also pretty good, pushing a little into Zone 4, extended Zone 3, with a solid balance in Zone 2. Still dealing with traffic for parts of the ride, I'm having to ride at a hard and deliberate pace for some sections - making it easy to maintain a race pace cadence through parts of the course.

The new turn on to SR158 (Powder Mountain Road).

Hesitant 

A lot going through my mind while riding, but not sure where to take it. The changes made to the road bike seem to be having a positive effect. Still need to make a few changes - albeit minor. Thinking a new saddle is in order, bar rotation adjustments, maybe even slightly wider tires. Just not sure where to take everything a this point. It's obvious where the training rides need to go, but the fundraising has completely stalled - as in kaput! Lacking inspiration more than motivation. Something that always seems to land me is going back to "461". Don't ask me why, but that slab of vinyl reminds me of only the best of times on Monte Cristo - and I can't even tell you why. Truth is, Monte is brutal, but a true friend. Few if any changes on the highway after passing the State sheds. Sure, they added a couple new cattle guards going down into Rich County, occasionally they resurface parts of the road - stuff like that. Make no mistake, that ride is a suffer fest - but I keep going back. Providing the work schedule permits, that will be on the agenda for the upcoming week. I still don't know what any of this has to do with "461", but go along with it as though it really makes sense. I'll figure the rest out later.

This wasn't part of the original release in "461 Ocean Blvd", but it was added to the deluxe edition forty years later. This is actually the final show for that tour at the Hammersmith

Click here for "The Sky is falling..." Eric.

Ride HARD!

Making a few changes

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44 mile morning rides on the hardtail

 Finding what works - Bike Fit / Setup

There has been a lot said about bike fit and setup. I've personally wrestled with the different setup and fits over the many years. A lot of rec riders settle for saddle (seat) height, but there's a lot more to consider. Basically everybody has their own unique body geometry and as such, well it's not as easy as it sounds. The road bike has been running the same drivetrain for the past 15 years. 50/34 front rings, with an 11/28 rear cassette. The crankarms have been the same 172.5 mm the entire time. I've had a couple professional bike fit attempts over the years - with limited, if any success. The front stem has been shortened and raised over time, with several variations of saddle positions. A few months ago I noticed a picture someone had taken of me grinding solo up Snake River Canyon. I had always thought my pedal stroke to be good - but that proved wildly incorrect. The picture screamed the reason I have broken saddle rails on other setups. Basically I was pushing back from the top pedal position into the saddle with tremendous force. Heel down to make matters worse. This also explains the chronic frontal knee pain I would have after climbing Monte - or anything else for that matter. Without going into the weeds, I'm trying a shorter crankarm setup - going down to 170 mm. Also, I've adjusted the cleats on my shoes to put the driving force farther back. I'm sure there will be other minor adjustments, but for now its time to get the road bike in service - next week.

Don't buy a Bucklos Chain

The hardtail has been getting a ton of time and miles. That bike is pretty low maintenance - for a mountain bike. Still, regular service is a must. Regular chain/lube and cleaning makes it run much better. Chains, rings and cassettes wear out - not mention tires and bearings. Having replaced a lot of chains over the years, I've always ran either Shimmano or Sram high-end components. I took a chance on a plated BUCKLOS chain - from Amazon. Major mistake. I put maybe 400 mile on it before it started to bind up. It's kind of the problem with 12 speed chains having thinner side-plates, in that they can bend a lot easier. I've never had that problem with a Shimmano or Sram chain - yet. This is also the argument for still running 2X front ring groups, versus a 1X chain ring. Regardless of that debate - steer clear of the Bucklos chains.

Another month or so and this will be approaching a "mud hole".

Stalling....

It has been a struggle, as usual this year. The Huntsman campaign is not moving at all, not to mention the event training has not really taken off. The next 30 days are critical and a more concerted effort will be required. The path toward success narrows with every passing day. Options become limited as the key days approach. Work commitments are also taking their time, but not insurmountable. It's just time to get serious - about everything. If this were an undergrad class, I think the professor would give this a gratuitous B-, mostly for just attendance and handing in the work. Certainly not mastering the material.

Click here for "The Moonbeam Song" Harry Nilsson

Ride HARD!

On the shoulders of giants

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Carrying the load

I recently read a very short biography of an individual I knew growing up. I would have known this person for pretty much the second half of her life. Confined to a wheelchair and without any use of her limbs, she was still able to live a remarkable life. The biography only covered her early life - basically the first half that I wouldn't have seen. It is an amazing story, as it could be almost unbelievable had I not known otherwise. One thing that stood out was that from the earliest of her days, she had a tremendous support network - a family, that made life even possible. By the time I came along, she was a giant in our community -albeit, none of us youngsters were to ever know that at the time. The point to all of this is very simple; everyone needs a support network along the way. Eventually it is passed on to the next group or person to carry the ones that follow. Nothing new about that, now is there?

Little chance of coincidence

Luck is not all its cracked up to be. In fact, the harder your work and the more you prepare, the luckier you will become - pretty straight forward. Along with that, practically every decision you make will have an effect at some point down the road. When we are younger we convince ourselves that we can get away with poor habits and bad decisions. Truth is, it all adds up along the way. And then there are those occasions that we identify as coincidence, when in fact we chose to be at that place at that time - be it intentionally or unintentionally. You had to make a series of decisions to even get to that point. The results are what they are. In the end, if you desire happy coincidence, you need to make choices well ahead of time that will put you there. Repetition becomes behavior. Behavior becomes part of your character. If you want to race fast, you have to train fast. At the end of the day, a persons character is what they do when nobody else is not looking. At some point it can't be faked. It will all come home to roost eventually. If you want to take your chance at coincidence, set yourself up for success first.

Training Updates

A minor foot injury during the week, completely unrelated to riding, kind of set things back a bit. Add to that some work demands and it has been a less than ideal week. A session of hills last night felt pretty good. Changing the methods to stimulate more progress. It is past time to get the road bike out and go through all the details. Time is flying by and not a lot of progress on the Huntsman campaign or other training metrics. Diligence is the word of the day.  Time to string a few together.........

Click here for Dave Mason "Only you know and I know"

Ride HARD!

Being Brief - whoever that is...

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A stretch of dirt on the way home

Time limitations.......

Schedules being what they are, everyone has their demands and needs. Baseball games across the valley give me an excuse to ride to and from - using the hardtail. Again, not a lot of kick and glide on that rig when compared to the road bike. It does give me a pretty good workout. When schedules permit I go looking for something that will produce a challenge. Of course the biggest challenge for me can be committing to the final 4-miles home. It is very important to learn how to finish and push past an easy way out. All total, tonight was a bit short of 3-hours actual riding- with only hydration. Add to that roughly 85 minutes at the game and it made for a long evening - rolling in just before dark.  You do what you have to do....

Not much to tell for now...

Still haven't had time to work on bikes. The road bike will be coming out soon, which will change a lot of things. Until then I'm still spending most of the time on the hardtail - although I've given some thought to taking the full sus up into North Fork. That place is just too busy in the evenings. The high school kids show up like locusts - droves (would that be loci?). Regardless, they make it not worth while in the evenings. Some mornings are better, but the trails are getting hammered - especially by all the e-bikes. For now it is a matter of getting quality time on what bike and ride is available. Still working out some stuff health wise. Staying more focused on the diet and consistency.  Recover days take a little longer than when I was younger. Following days like today, I can feel the burn in the quads particularly. Nothing too serious, but I know I've done something. It is minor soreness and nothing chronic - like burning tendons. Spending more time in zone 2 and 3, meaning I'll need to do some zone 4 polarization stuff along the way. Hills sure aren't doing that at the moment. Maybe I do need to hit some single-track dirt in North Fork after all.

Not taking things too serious

As busy as  I have been, I do look for things to break up the routine. I noticed Macky posted his recent romp from "Mountain of Hell" France. This is impressive and deserves a watch. Considering he crashed a couple times on the glacier and made it all up down on the mountain says everything. Some of those lines are nuts!!! What you don't see is the actual grade, as there are some places they are at nearly -60%. Hats off to both Syd and Macky as they really seem to be putting together a great year with ARI. This particular video makes it look easy. Truth is, Macky hammers the single track like a down-hiller. Never mind his age - both he and Syd are killing it this year. My stuff really isn't that serious after all.

Click here to watch perhaps the most impressive downhill and comeback you will see this year. Nicely done Macky!

Ride HARD!

Fixing, Breaking and More Breaking

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Morning Hill Repeats - before another broken spoke...

 Maintaining Equipment and Making Repairs

Repairs and maintenance are not the same thing. It may sound obvious, but solid maintenance keeps things running better - longer. There are just some things that don't neatly fall into that category - like broken spokes. Aside from the new brakes I need to install on the hardtail, the chain was in need of replacement, as well as the freewheel on the commuter wheelset needed serviced. Sometime last week I was completely burned out from working on client stuff and spontaneously decided to perform a quick wheel service and chain swap on the hardtail. In the process, I found another broken spoke - like the third one on that particular wheel. Replacing a spoke is time consuming, as the entire wheel has to be broken down - including the tubeless tire. Once back together, its a good 30 minutes' in the truing stand straightening the wheel itself.  After all of that, cleaning the tire and filling it with new sealant and using a few magic tricks to make it air-up and seat. It takes time. Yesterday morning seemed like a good opportunity to get 90 minutes of hill intervals in the book - that was until I heard another spoke "snap"  mid grade (the image above). Such is the nature of J-spokes; an inherent stress concentration at the point where it bends. In the end, its simply a matter of engineering mechanics and applied physics. I've pull the center hub apart on my road bike, split rims and busted countless j-spokes over the years. The only remedy is to use hubs with straight-pull spoke-hub assemblies - which I do have for both the hardtail and the full-sus. This isn't a matter of maintenance, but it sure can eat up precious time making repairs. I'd rather be investing time into upgrades and maintenance - more on that in a later post.

Swapping wheelsets & pushing the endurance

The quickest way back on to the road this evening was to swap wheelsets wholesale.  I've been running by best wheelset on the full-sus, with some very aggressive tires. They are light and fast, but can take a lot of beating. In a race, I'll put on a different set of tires and reconfigure the drivetrain and rotors for the hardtail. Until then I've also got a pretty solid DT Swiss wheelset with some cross country race tires - that are wider and a tad bit more aggressive than the commuter tires. It's an easy swap, with maybe a few minor adjustments on the shifter - on the fly, but it puts me back on the road. Schedules and commitments being what they are, sometimes I have to ride my way to baseball games or other family events. The ride tonight with the wider dirt tires, took me across the entire valley to a late baseball game. Because the bike has great cross country and dirt capability, I can take a few detours not available on the road bike. More importantly, the hardtail doesn't permit the typical "kick and glide" you often get on a road bike - even on minor downhill grades. Basically it is pedaling full time, up to about 28-29 MPH. Looking at the Garmin stats post ride, the overall speed is not bad, but more importantly, the effort is pretty continuous. I threw in a solid 20+ minute climb just to make it legit, with heartrate recovery spot on for expectations. Truth is, it is really the right setup and ride sequence for the current situation. Breaking those spokes was probably a blessing in the end.

Cool mornings in the mid to upper 30's

Sorting it out

Not enough time to get into "it" tonight, but there is definitely some sorting to be done. Methods are changing by necessity, as well as some equipment. I'm looking to make some changes to the road bike, if not replacing it all together. Some time this week it will be going up on the stand for some serious work. It has a lot of miles on it for a carbon/aluminum frame. Lets face it, I'm hard on my bikes. There is a possibility of a carbon-fiber crack in the seat-tube. If that is the case...not a lot that can be done. Aside from that, I have been riding a bike frame that on paper should fit my geometry. Truth is, that the geometry has always stretched me out - creating forces during climbs that are damaging and inefficient. I've always been able to make it work, but it may have finally been too much. Assuming the bike can ride one more season it will be getting a few changes - stay tuned. Aside from that and on a personal note, I have been distracted by questions that have just never been answered. Right - it doesn't matter. But when you reach a point in your life that taking things for granted is no longer an option, you have a tendency to look harder at the little things without immediate dismissal. I'm sure there will be more on this as well. For now, just know that the muscle fatigue is in the right places and not a chronic issue. We are making progress - in some areas anyway.

Enjoying the simple things

Harry was such a perfectionist. A lot of his stuff took countless hours cutting and splicing tape. In the end, so much of his work has gone largely forgotten. There is one piece he did that starts out some basic, it is almost unassuming. in a matter of only a couple minutes, he blends perhaps one of the tightest sessions into a complete work. The depth of the effort is lost in it's simplicity.

Click here for Harry Nilsson "Driving Along"

Ride HARD!

A Tribute to the Crew

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Just below the peak....on our way there.

 On our way......

It has been 45 years to the day that our crew of misfits and eccentrics were let loose onto the "big blue marble". The world was said to be our "oyster" - and I hate seafood. Nonetheless, off we went -wherever the road would take us. I know there were a few that had a plan and a few of them actually executed that plan. There were others that followed "the template" and met expectations. And then, there were the rest of us (probably most of us) that just made it up as we went along. For some reason we all walked out of the building in the comfortably warm evening at the Browning Center, believing we had accomplished something in our lives up to that point. Hats off to those who really did land prestigious appointments, or scholarships. Let's face it, I hadn't any idea until years later, what an accomplishment that actually was for them. The fact the some of our peers actually had it put together well enough as struggling teenagers to do something like that is remarkable. Approaching nearly five decades of dirt, luck, bruises, scar-tissue and eventually some level of success - it has been a fascinating trip indeed. 

From a ride to the peak about ten-year ago. It never gets old.

Not looking back, but remembering the important stuff

Living in the past is stupid - like dangerous stupid. Still, learning from our past is how we survive the future. Learning what will kill you and how to avoid it is a survival skill baked into our DNA. We develop a little muscle memory along the way - call it reflex, but it's something that keeps us from making the same mistake more than ... a few times. I am amazed at how often we do forget what was once important to us in our younger years and worse yet, how often we have been willing to throw away things we always considered to be of value. Sure, we change, but at what cost and end result? We think we know so much more as adults. After all, we have years of experience and hardship to show for it - right? But wait, we thought that same thing when we walked out of that building 45 years ago. To think we have all the answers now may not be as misguided as we were all those years ago, but we still don't have a corner on the market of absolute knowledge. Not being able to see over the horizon was always a bit uneasy, but given the advantage of age, there is less over the horizon than there was all those years ago. So, knowing that..... when you look back behind you and draw the continuous line through history and project it out forward, are you content with where the resulting path takes you? It's too easy to accept fate as something we can't change - we've done it all our lives to some degree anyway. Truth is, we are better and more capable today than we ever have been. It is a function of how well we have learned from our past and can project into the future. 

Humility and all the trappings of learning about life

Perhaps the single most significant difference between now and 45 years ago would be the value of humility. Lets face it; at 18 years old, pretty much everyone feels invincible and has no idea what is out there that can really eat you. Getting knocked down isn't a big deal, as you could bounce back like a jack-rabbit. As you developed a career, perhaps obtained an education, it became apparent that setbacks are a daily part of life. At first you think it may be other people's bad luck and not your own. Soon it settles in, life can be hard - get over it. Sometimes life can be unfair - get over that as well. In the past 10 years we have lost far too many of our friends that walked across that stage 45 years ago. To that we can all agree; life is truly unfair and uncertain. As we absorb that humility, there is more of a sweetness to life and far less apprehension. The adults we used to seek out as "safe harbors" from life's storms - well they are all mostly gone. That leaves us to fill that void, that role - call it what you will. We are better for having been through all of our struggles - personal and otherwise. Maybe those struggles are still every bit as big as they were all those many years ago, but somehow we have all become our own versions of "Jack Arnold".

I wouldn't trade it for the world

Anyone who says they would do it all over exactly the same way (given the chance), is either a liar, or a fool. Fair enough. However, I wouldn't have traded my experiences getting to that day 45 years ago, for anything. Nor would I have substituted those with whom the adventure was shared. Time tends to mellow a lot of the sourness of life. At the same time, we tend to selectively remember things the way we want them to be in our own minds. The awkwardness of trying to figure out who we were is lost to the memories of time spent with our crew. That evening at "Big Buns". Long bus rides home from away games, or meets. Sluffing class to go skiing or to simply fly kites at the park. Gone are the memories of insecurity and the nervousness of being asked to dance by someone you really didn't know - but may have secretly thought was totally hot. The endless hours of practice and workouts, with sweat burning your eyes. Getting the crap kicked out of you at practice and showing up the next day like it never happened in the first place. All stored in back where it belongs. Remembering with fondness the cheerleaders all out on the of the road at the top of Sardine Canyon, doing their thing on our way to a rare Saturday game - we felt like Vikings! Gone is the sting of having lost a fellow Scot and friend only less than one week prior to that graduation day. Ingrained in my heart is the Baccalaureate service only a few days later, with a invocation by our class president - on the heels of that loss, as well as having to deal with potential litigation that threatened our very graduation (Andy was a stud and was made for that very moment in time). And finally, when it was all over, outside in that warm and very comfortable outdoor setting, running into each other knowing there was nothing holding us together anymore. Some things did not have to be said. The firm embrace....hell, the warm and overdue hugs - everything was conveyed without saying a single word. Some relationships were nearly a lifetime at that point, whereas others only three short years - in the end we are bound by that of which we together endured and conquered.  I personally can't imagine it any other way.

Cheers

To you all - and I hope you all do get this message, life is short. Make the most of every single moment. Take nothing for granted. Be the hero you have always been meant to be. We have lost far too many and that will only continue at a faster rate. Live your individual lives looking forward - always. Be proud of what we all are, but don't be prideful. In those quiet moments alone, take inventory of what matters most. Age may have crept up, but we are far from done. Be strong and determined through the finish line - as you really never know where it may be. Perhaps someday we'll look back on this all and laugh at ourselves. Until then, laugh anyway. It's been one helluva ride and we were all darn lucky to have had each other to get us started. Cheers to you all!

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Ride HARD!