Sometimes you just don't belong here
It's been a rollercoaster of a year. Too many lows to offset the highs. I took some water up to the top of Monte last evening - knowing all along the inevitable task of climbing over that mountain a few times before race day. As I drove up and back down, I recounted every single mile, every curve, every landmark and the countless times I have done that ride - alone. This morning when my alarm went off at 05:00, I had the distinct impression that I just don't belong in that group of riders. For that matter, I don't belong in any event - much less LOTOJA. For years I have been kidding myself and every year it only gets worse. It's pretty bad when you lie to yourself. It is worse when you begin to believe your own lies. I don't belong here - end of story.
Thanks to all that have supported the cause. I know most of my page views of late have been bot-crawlers, so I don't know that many, if any are even reading this thing anyway. To those that have been loyal- Thanks for the ride. I'm sorry to be the disappointment that I am. Thanks all the same. I hope it all comes back to you someday.
Enough said...............
