Sometimes we make things harder than they have to be...
From time to tome, I like to "noodle" on my otherwise well worn Takamine acoustic guitar. This habit goes back decades, from the days when I'd workout in the early evening and not be able to sleep as a result. Having broken my little finger on my left hand when first learning to play guitar, I had to adapt to working around that thing constantly getting the way. It would be many years before I could really learn to use that finger and change my hand position. As such, I learned to play a lot of stuff.....anyway that I could. A lot of stuff I play today, I couldn't really pull off that many years ago.
Something like '75/'76 I bought "The White Album". Being a huge Beatles fan early on, I was intrigued by so much of what they'd do and how it worked. Having a fairly good background in music, I knew a little about theory and how things were done - in the day. I listened to one track incessantly, trying to figure it out. Needless to say, I was convinced it was far more complicated than I could master. Later, I caught a glimpse of some sheet music, but I couldn't make it work - jacked up finger and all. Many years later, I realized how simple it was, aside from the method. Still it wasn't as hard as I needed to make it. Okay, the busted finger made things hard to manage, but eventually that worked itself out and..............I quite often find myself picking through it in the quiet of the night.
The things that shape us
June 4th, 2020 will be a ride, a day I will never forget. An early morning ride up SR 39 to Causey was absolutely awesome. (the little thing in the lower left corner is a ZipLock bag I keep my phone in while riding). Not feeling particularly frisky, I was still feeling good and thought I was on the right track. The ride was pretty straight forward and enjoyable, something I needed and truly appreciated. As I rolled up to Liberty Park nearly home, something caught my eye that just drew me in. As my mind processed what I was seeing, I couldn't understand what I was visualizing with my eyes. Still, as natural as anything, I ditched my bike and dropped the helmet and found myself kneeling next to a person doing chest compressions on a small lifeless body. What happened at that initial moment will haunt me forever and is extremely personal - for lack of any further discussion. Still, I relieved the person doing compressions briefly, and he tried a couple times to provide air. As many times as I've practiced this procedure, this was almost automatic and surreal. Aside from counting compressions (which I'm sure were way to fast) I remember nothing else other than calling out to my god for.........something, anything. As it turns out, this other person was her father, and her younger brother was standing over his sister's lifeless body as the 911 dispatcher was counting compression pulses. I had no idea at the time, but in our little valley we all kind of know each other - in one way or the other. After medical arrived and I was no longer needed, I stood by as I heard her father call what I believe would have been her mother and told her of the desperate situation. I hung around for a few more minutes to give my name rank and serial number to the deputy before I left. At that moment, it hit me what was happening. Needless to say, getting on my bike and "pinning" that last four miles went by fast.
A few days later, I found out what had happened, and who these people are. I go back with this extended family a long way and was probably better I didn't know who was who at the time. Still, as I read this young person's obituary a few days later, I felt even more helpless than before. She had just graduated from High School - or whatever they did this year. Undoubtedly, there is much more to the story, but I can' help but feel what desperation must have contributed to this event. Out of respect to her and the family, I will leave it at that.
It doesn't have to be this hard
I know these are some pretty crappy times, but we will prevail. I've had a rough time over the past 10 weeks and have found myself doubting so much. These are the things that make us who we are - for better or worse. Accept it. It shapes us and our views on the world around us. Like that song that took me a life time to finally figure out, it wasn't as hard as we make it on ourselves. We still have to negotiate broken fingers and other things that get in our way, but we'll get there eventually. So...sometimes when I'm not paying attention, I'll get the bridge or chorus wrong occasionally. Still, I just noodle and it eventually works out. It's hard. Sometimes it's unbearable, but hang on. There is nothing sweeter than crossing that line against all odds, even if you don't finish first. It is the human spirit to overcome that I find so compelling. For those who cannot; just hang on a little longer. And for those who cannot - I'm sorry I couldn't do more to make a difference.
That song
Some of my earliest memories of fishing when I was maybe four or five years old, are of hearing a Red Wing Blackbird singing in the early mornings at Pine View. Life seemed so simple at that age.....
This ones for you kiddo.
Ride HARD!
