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| Another sightseeing tour - following the trail.... |
Brighten up things a little bit....
That last post really cut deep.....maybe too deep. That's what happens when I ride alone and haven't anyone to talk with along the way. Back in the day, a lifetime ago when I traveled a lot, I was more often than not on my own. 15-17 hour plane rides, 12-hour days onsite, all-nighters doing drawings and reports....I had more than enough time to think about a lot of stuff while being alone. Years back when I would run stairs in the evening or have a late workout, I would be too wired to sleep. Hours listening to deep-tracks playing solitaire - with cards (not on a computer). I learned early on how to compartmentalize thoughts and keep things in the right place. Putting the dark stuff away and sorting through the important stuff became an essential skill. You'd think by now I'd have this whole type of thing worked out. Most days...maybe I do, but I can assure you, that darkness I posted the other day was completely filtered and sweetened a bit. Going forward through the end of the year, I'll try to leave a little sunshine along the way - the kind that comes out the backend of a manure spreader.....
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| Peaceful reflection and memories |
The feel of Autumn and the change of the seasons
I've never hid the fact that autumn has always been my favorite time of most any year, but this year seems to have been flooded with what feels like fresh memories of the past. I had this warm and clear recollection of being in the first-grade at the old Bonneville School, early morning recess, smelling the school lunch that we thought was so special. Seems the sun was barely clearing the mountain leaving the far east side of the playground near the tall fence on the grass - wet with dew and not too cold. Our entire lives were ahead of us all. This evening I plugged in an old Neil Young bit that I bought on vinyl early my freshmen year in college. With the noise canceling headphones on, I remembered how it felt listening to that thing track by track after football practice one night. Putting all those things in their order again, I could only think how much living I had to do and how it was all in front of me yet. I was living through what seemed to be a terminal heartache - what did I know? Not a lot of hunting that year, as college football doesn't allow for anything outside of class work, practice and workouts. I can't say that I ever had regretted that particular year, but I have long since forgot the burning of that heartache, hardship and uncertainty of what I was living through at the moment. That change....well it brings with it a clean slate of new opportunity. Unfortunately I had a tendency to waste a lot of those opportunities. As time went on, autumn became more a period to lament missed opportunities of the past year rather than looking forward. Putting those things back in order, I'm remembering what it felt like to have hope an optimism in the erasing of that slate. A lot to do, but I have been enjoying this season - for all the right reasons.
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| Calm waters run deep & the hardtail runs smooth.... |
Looking ahead with a clear understanding of the past
I pulled a spoke the end of the previous week and had to relace the back wheel on the hardtail. Stupid J-spokes can't take the beating I put on them, given I've had this problem on every bike in the fleet over the years. It's just a lot of driving force on that rear group-set, not any beating from the road or trails. As I was tearing apart the wheel and truing it up on the stand, I was thinking what I need to do if I'm gonna race this setup next year - oh, and I am gonna race this thing. As I was doing all that work, I was also thinking of every area needing improvement to be successful next season. I know exactly what it's going to take and it won't be easy by any standard. I personally have let myself forget all life's experiences that have given the wisdom and understanding needed to build a solid plan, but I've been dusting those thing off and reliving them with key focus on the details. As important as it is to remember what works, we also have to remember what didn't work and why - giving us that experience that only pain and failure can afford. Truth is I tend to only want to remember the good times and successes, not nearly as much of the failure and frustration that came with that experience. The other day as I stood up on this bank setting up for picture, I looked into that dark green water and could remember seeing this very place when I was like five-years old - terrified of what seemed frightening to my little eyes. Casting that fishing-line out into the depths of the unknown with the faith something, a fish, would find it's way on to my lure. For a moment it felt like that same morning, but it all has changed. And here I am, looking back at the past, turning to look forward with an eye on the future. Somehow that horizon seems a lot closer than it did - in the past.
Happy Birthday Reed, and wishing you many more...
Our brother is coming up on that anniversary that we all have once a year. His dear wife is putting together some things from the group of guys - some sort of memory we may have had from our youth. Statute of limitations being what they are, I could divulge some sort of criminal behavior from our youth....but that wasn't Reed. He was a reliably solid person. Our sophomore year, he was a guy that I knew I'd have to out-do to make the basketball team. All I knew was he could out shoot me, had better court presence and a better work ethic than I could ever have. Aside from that, I almost had a chance to make that team. Fact is, he made the team for all the right reasons and ....well I spent the winter skiing and working. I did go back to read a couple of my old years books (like I have new year books??). I'm not sure what I may have said or done, but apparently he was permanently scarred by something I said or did, in seminary our senior year. I thought all I did was sleep in that class when I was there. Maybe it's better we don't remember those things after all. What I do remember is Reed being a positive person and always a steady hand in most any situation - not one to fly off the handle. Truly one of the good ones - for all the right reasons.
Happy birthday Reed!
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