Tying it up

 Making the most of any situation

The way things used to be....

Time slips by faster every year. It seems only last week I was training for my first LOTOJA. It seems like an entire life time ago that I was just finishing my freshman year playing football in college. There is so much I have willing forgotten, while other things I hold dear to my own heart. I think we tend to do that and in the process, we forget who we really are and from where we came. I can tell you this for certain; we all choose to forget and remember what we want, how we want, regardless of what is really true. I still look for those faces in the crowd that make me stop in my tracks. The familiar voice that rings above the loudest noise that only you can hear. As time goes on, those events become less often and more vague. But time continues on without regard for what we may otherwise think or desire.

Perspective

The way they should be....

Given enough time we can convince ourselves that who we are and what we have become is justifiable. Given the opportunity to do it all over again, only a fool would say he'd do it exactly the same way - either that or one who lies. We all know that there are things we'd do differently given the knowledge and wisdom of our years. But how about those that continue living the lie by rationalizing their deeds to climb over others in the process.  Well, that is life, but it doesn't make it right. When a person cheats in a race or test, but nobody else knows, there is still that one person that will also have the truth. As we get older our exterior begins to fall apart, exposing our inner self. For many this reveals an ugliness that has always been there - just hidden. For others it reveals an inner beauty that exceeds the rough husk of the former exterior that was always visible. Perhaps this is why some people age better than others - they are true to themselves and don't worry about the exterior appearance. It doesn't happen overnight, but rather over the course of a lifetime. Standing out front and looking back at the true cost of your life's decisions is a painful reality. Today is the day you take inventory. It is from the perspective of one that knows all of your deepest secrets. It is your true perspective.

....but the way they really are.

A reminder of true cost....

Everything has a cost. Be it money, material or blood. This image above is a reminder to me of others that paid a price without fanfare or self promotion. Hard things can be done - if we are willing to pay that price. Put yourself in the position of not knowing if you will live or die, because every day has it's risks. It can all be taken away tomorrow and who will you be when it is all gone? Those crews faced uncertainty every day they went up. You didn't need people trying to kill you. As many where killed during training and non-combat missions as were lost to enemy action. Rub the hair off that lucky rabbits foot - you need all the luck you can get. Gene Simmons has said numerous times that people said he was lucky. His reply: "Very true. I found the harder I worked the luckier I became". Nothing is free in this life - and I mean nothing. What part of you has died to become the lasting image that will remain? Wear it proud. Many people never had that opportunity to screw up as many times as we have, only to still succeed despite our own hubris. Tomorrow morning when you greet yourself in that bathroom mirror, remember what it all has cost to be there at that very moment.

Enough of the lecturing

It's time for the Porpoise to put on a bright new look and start moving forward. I'm hoping to see many of you along the way. We have lost too many of our friends not to continue. So maybe, just maybe....I personally will find the motivation and willingness to stand up and fight again.

 See you in a couple weeks..........

Click here for a little Ozark Gospel - "Look Away"

The Porpoise - 2025

Merry Christmas From The Porpoise

A sign of the seasons...just not this particular season.

 A Hard Reality - Like it or not

Loneliness is a terrible thing. What may be worse is watching the aged and often infirmed as they deteriorate helplessly in to a state of frailty. These were often the giants of our youth - a time when we all needed heroes. In days when our own uncertainty was calmed by their assurance and guidance, we may have never thought we would see the cracks of mortality. These past couple of weeks have completely blown that notion out of the water. I have learned to listen to the "little voices" and not to hesitate in action. I learned the hard way some twelve-years ago that hesitation can be costly. Since then I do not question, I only do. I make it a point to visit many of these giants from our past - now so frail and too often alone, only to witness the cruel reality of life that breaks us all down in the end. From a friend that fought a valiant fight to another since passed friend's dad taking his last mortal breath in this life - these are stark reminders of what life can be like. But in these visits I learn a lot. Sure there are the obvious, but moreover the not as obvious - the lessons in the shadows. The messages between the lines, if you are willing to listen. I spent a solid hour this afternoon listening to a nearly 92-yer old man recount his own memories of not the glory days, but of his grand kids and children. Not so much dwelling on his own past, but an inventory of his blessings in his current day - all tied to his lengthy history. This is where the loneliness started to show, as he recounted his since departed wife of many decades. In that voice I could hear the man I knew more than 45-years ago recount the depth of his soul and emotion, knowing that this living book of history would not too long also pass into our memories. That will create yet another type of loneliness for a select few going forward.

Changing Landscapes

As I drive through our old familiar town, it is becoming less familiar by the day. Not only our town, but the other places that I have known my entire life. Gates across roads that led to adventures of my youth, to buildings that have been replaced my multi-tenant housing projects -  it is a harsh reminder of how things will always change. So why does that matter? Why can't change be accepted and embraced? I'm not saying it can't be, but I am saying there are fundamentals we should never abandon. Perhaps the most important of these is who we really are. At some time we all aspired to be someone, or do something that we dreamt would be ideal. Over time we become that of which we gaze at, but at what cost. Much like a town that loses it's character when buildings are razed, people often lose their truest character as the cost of becoming what the focus at that long protracted gazing. Unfortunately we also get worn down by the weathering of life. It slowly wears down our once sharp and chiseled edges, to smooth and rounded conforming features - often covered by hair coloring, nice clothes, material objects and worse - an attitude lacking humility. This need for humility is why I often do what I do - I suppose. As my own landscapes change personally over time, smelling the familiar dirt of my past helps me remember what was important to me before life happened.

Days of chasing coyotes and pheasants.

Pushing the Boundaries

Endurance guys are built differently. We train for the long term and long time events. The image at the top of the page is a reminder of that for me personally. Those long 126-mile rides over Monte to Woodruff and back can be brutal. That particular sign is on the way home after making the turn around. There are days that wind is blowing straight into your face, hotter than hell and unforgiving. Occasionally you get lucky and have a tailwind at points, but it is never easy. Counting the mile-post markers, knowing exactly what the terrain will be at each location as you approach doesn't make it easier. Taking a break at the campground is sometimes a mixed bag.  Even from that point you still have to ride over the shoulders before getting to MP42, where it is all down hill from there - allegedly. Unless it is way late in the evening, there will be the reliable headwind at Redrock, just as you head down into South Fork Canyon. Blowing like a blast furnace, Huntsville seems an million miles away. The hell that this sounds like is exactly that, if not worse. Regardless, I find myself during that trial in a way I can't otherwise. It is truly a journey and not a destination - as it ends at home for me. To make this happen requires a ton of sacrifice doing hours of hill repeats, tempo rides, early morning spin sessions and a lot of other things. But that ride isn't the end goal - it leads to the end goal, the journey itself. I have been cooked, frozen, broken down, flatted and everything else you can image doing that ride - but I keep going back for some crazy-ass reason. It's often during these long winter nights we endurance guys long for the days of suffering that we know is that ride - whatever that particular ride may be individually. To progress we have to find out perceived limits and challenge them - again and again. When we don't, our boundaries shrink and we in turn also shrink. Endure!

One more post for the year

Only a week or so left. A lot of work with the business, with more on the books for the year. I'm looking to bounce back from the setbacks of the past 18-months. A lot on the line and some serious ambitions. I hope to have something more meaningful before the year is over, but then again - it has been a rough year when it comes to riding. Perhaps I should try gazing at what really matters most and let it take me where I can go......

This one seems curiously fitting at the moment.......

Click Here for "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant"

"...I've gotta roll."

Ride HARD!

Been away far too long......

 

Not enough of these days anymore

Priorities, Distractions and Everything In Between

A lot has happened since the previous post. Too many times I would be at my computer late into the evening, thinking I need to update the BLOG - only to be distracted by what would otherwise be described as "priorities". The consulting workload has been considerable, leaving no time to ride. One may think that living as close as I do to all the available trails locally, I'd be on my mountain bike regularly. The image above is the one and only time I took the full-sus out this past season. Long gone are the days of coming home from work and jetting out on my bike, onto the dirt until the daylight was gone. For that matter, gone are a lot of other things as well. I believe it was John Lennon that said " Life is what happens when you are busy making plans". I suppose that is the stuff n between.

Something I learned along time ago is how we as a species have a tendency to make our own priorities. In fact, more often than not it is what we choose to do, rather than what has to be done. I'm sure there are those things that press us into a corner, but it is what we do before that situation comes about. 20-years ago I was working terrible hours, traveling around the globe while meeting other peoples expectations - but somehow I would still roll out of bed at 04:00 to get a hard spin-class in before starting the day. Even when I was on the road, sicker than a dog, I would still put in a solid 45-minutes on an elliptical at whatever crappy hotel I found myself in. Maybe there is more to that motivation thing after all. Or...maybe the years are starting to catch up with me? NAH! I'm just inherently lazy......

Feed Zone Marshal Experience

Riders coming into the Feed Zone Neutral - Afton, Wyoming

My crew has been doing this whole LOTOJA thing for nearly 20-years as a family. We took the three youngest kids up to Afton, providing support at that feed zone this year. Normally they see the "old man" getting out of the truck in the dark at Logan, then chasing the race across the course over the entire day - watching for the old fat guy, dragging his tongue in the dirt throughout the day. This years experience was very different- in a positive way. We started around 07:30 setting up the entire feed zone from scratch. We were in the company of perhaps seven other people, with only a couple of them having ever ridden/raced this, if any event. Most people just take pride in being part of something bigger than themselves. It was interesting to see how the race unfolds from the Pro, 1,2's coming through, to the last of the riders trying to beat the cut-off. Of course, seeing the 800 frame numbers roll through, cut like a jagged piece of glass, as that was my group. You could spot the first timers just by their saucer sized eyes and the abject look of pain like they had never felt before - loving every minute of it. When it was over, we rolled up the operation and tied a few "knots", knowing that the earliest finishers would have only just been rolling in eighty-something miles away. Heading home that evening, we made traditional stop in Randolph, but being race day, there was no long string of vehicles carrying bikes passing by. Some day, hopefully not too soon, this event will be only a memory and those familiar things will fade with other things that we lose in our lives.

Whether you ride, or not - I highly recommend volunteering at a remote feed zone and experience this from that particular perspective. It is truly bigger than anyone's self.

Where to go from here?

There are a lot of things in the mix - none have yet to be settled. We're gonna try making a few changes to the "Porpoise" going forward - as it has become a bit stagnant. Not giving away too much, lets leave it at; everything needs a little restructuring and modification from time to time. Who knows, maybe there will be more dirt in the forecast. There will be a change in the emphasis as it needs a little more direction going forward - for sure.

An Update

The past two seasons have been centered around a class mate and his own battle with the "Big-C". Initially only given maybe 6-months to live, Reed proved those "experts" wrong and pressed a solid and remarkable 20-months out of it all. Like so many things, the final score doesn't tell the tale. No way! He took this thing into extra innings with countless miracles along the way. It was truly a rough ride. Perhaps the most obvious miracle was his angel of a wife - another class mate. I don't believe in mere coincidence and am certain she made the difference between the experts being correct and his willingness to endure. She literally gave him the will to fight and live. In the quiet that follows, we all have that moment of reflection and reconning.  In this case it will be what drives the direction of "Porpoise" for this next season.

This year is about done. Stick around, or occasionally drop by.

"Happy Ways" Pre-Eagle Joe

Ride HARD!