Wrapping up
This year started with so much optimism. Like the view from Ben Lomond peak above, the vastness obscures the detail. The beginning post for this past year was a tribute to all my "mates". Over the course of this year, we lost a couple. Add to that a few parents and other close associates, it has been a good year to close-out. At LOTOJA, as has become my custom, I wrote the names of a couple key people that lost their own battles with the "big-C". I wrote of one in a particular post this past year, and paid tribute to all that we've otherwise lost. Just recently we lost another friend, but not to the dastardly "C". This one was a bit more ominous. Still, whenever we lose another brother or sister, it makes me stop and take a personal inventory.
Turning Pages
A lot changed this year. So much that I've personally struggled. I have realized that we often struggle with changes, as something we been accustom to for so long, kind of becomes our identity. Add to that our incessant need for validation and.....change can be kind of hard. That all said, we need change to force our own growth, as complacency makes us weak and lazy. Perhaps thinking things through is a good idea, but still, we need challenges to develop us further. The thing I came to realize in all of this, is I simply don't know who I really am anymore. I mean, I've kind of let other people, other things, other.....stuff become my identity. I have become soft and complacent. When I stand outside of myself and examine that....person I have become, I can only imagine what my 15 year-old self would say. On that note, a few weeks ago I was given a picture from when I was fifteen. It was from a fast-pitch softball tournament, at the end of a long summer that comprised a ton of baseball and fast-pitch softball. All of the participants in the picture are still alive, exception being the coach (hence why I was given the picture in the first place). We were all "piss and vinegar", ready for the world. Life has a funny way of reminding us of some otherwise tender truths. Every once in a while, I do remember who I really am. Maybe I'm not that far from home after all.
Truth & Validation
We set our own course. We sail our own line. How many ways can you state it? We all make mistakes. Sometimes we even learn from our mistakes. If we're really good, we never stop learning. Sometimes we just want a little reassurance of our own course. A recent group text message from some of my brothers, pointed out how all of our parents were younger than any of us now, when we were in high-school. As kids we thought we knew so much more than our parents. Then we figured out we didn't know a fraction of what they did. Having lost both of my parents over the past few years, the emptiness that comes in knowing that we are the ones left to carry the mantel for our youth, is sometimes overwhelming. That said, truth is an absolute. It isn't a matter of perspective, or convenience. It will stand against all elements of wear and deterioration. We on the other hand.....perhaps some of us are wearing out, but for the most part, we're still stringin'em together, even if it is simply one day at a time.
To my brothers and sisters............
So...this one is in the books and tomorrow an entirely new year. Man, I can remember some seriously crazy new years eves, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that I am truly grateful for those that made the early years tolerable, and the older years.....interesting. You all are great in all of your own ways. Here's to new and bright adventures.........
I started this year with the first track off "Let it be". Lets go out with the final track on that classic vinyl.....
"The Porpoise" 2022
