Merry Christmas From The Porpoise

A sign of the seasons...just not this particular season.

 A Hard Reality - Like it or not

Loneliness is a terrible thing. What may be worse is watching the aged and often infirmed as they deteriorate helplessly in to a state of frailty. These were often the giants of our youth - a time when we all needed heroes. In days when our own uncertainty was calmed by their assurance and guidance, we may have never thought we would see the cracks of mortality. These past couple of weeks have completely blown that notion out of the water. I have learned to listen to the "little voices" and not to hesitate in action. I learned the hard way some twelve-years ago that hesitation can be costly. Since then I do not question, I only do. I make it a point to visit many of these giants from our past - now so frail and too often alone, only to witness the cruel reality of life that breaks us all down in the end. From a friend that fought a valiant fight to another since passed friend's dad taking his last mortal breath in this life - these are stark reminders of what life can be like. But in these visits I learn a lot. Sure there are the obvious, but moreover the not as obvious - the lessons in the shadows. The messages between the lines, if you are willing to listen. I spent a solid hour this afternoon listening to a nearly 92-yer old man recount his own memories of not the glory days, but of his grand kids and children. Not so much dwelling on his own past, but an inventory of his blessings in his current day - all tied to his lengthy history. This is where the loneliness started to show, as he recounted his since departed wife of many decades. In that voice I could hear the man I knew more than 45-years ago recount the depth of his soul and emotion, knowing that this living book of history would not too long also pass into our memories. That will create yet another type of loneliness for a select few going forward.

Changing Landscapes

As I drive through our old familiar town, it is becoming less familiar by the day. Not only our town, but the other places that I have known my entire life. Gates across roads that led to adventures of my youth, to buildings that have been replaced my multi-tenant housing projects -  it is a harsh reminder of how things will always change. So why does that matter? Why can't change be accepted and embraced? I'm not saying it can't be, but I am saying there are fundamentals we should never abandon. Perhaps the most important of these is who we really are. At some time we all aspired to be someone, or do something that we dreamt would be ideal. Over time we become that of which we gaze at, but at what cost. Much like a town that loses it's character when buildings are razed, people often lose their truest character as the cost of becoming what the focus at that long protracted gazing. Unfortunately we also get worn down by the weathering of life. It slowly wears down our once sharp and chiseled edges, to smooth and rounded conforming features - often covered by hair coloring, nice clothes, material objects and worse - an attitude lacking humility. This need for humility is why I often do what I do - I suppose. As my own landscapes change personally over time, smelling the familiar dirt of my past helps me remember what was important to me before life happened.

Days of chasing coyotes and pheasants.

Pushing the Boundaries

Endurance guys are built differently. We train for the long term and long time events. The image at the top of the page is a reminder of that for me personally. Those long 126-mile rides over Monte to Woodruff and back can be brutal. That particular sign is on the way home after making the turn around. There are days that wind is blowing straight into your face, hotter than hell and unforgiving. Occasionally you get lucky and have a tailwind at points, but it is never easy. Counting the mile-post markers, knowing exactly what the terrain will be at each location as you approach doesn't make it easier. Taking a break at the campground is sometimes a mixed bag.  Even from that point you still have to ride over the shoulders before getting to MP42, where it is all down hill from there - allegedly. Unless it is way late in the evening, there will be the reliable headwind at Redrock, just as you head down into South Fork Canyon. Blowing like a blast furnace, Huntsville seems an million miles away. The hell that this sounds like is exactly that, if not worse. Regardless, I find myself during that trial in a way I can't otherwise. It is truly a journey and not a destination - as it ends at home for me. To make this happen requires a ton of sacrifice doing hours of hill repeats, tempo rides, early morning spin sessions and a lot of other things. But that ride isn't the end goal - it leads to the end goal, the journey itself. I have been cooked, frozen, broken down, flatted and everything else you can image doing that ride - but I keep going back for some crazy-ass reason. It's often during these long winter nights we endurance guys long for the days of suffering that we know is that ride - whatever that particular ride may be individually. To progress we have to find out perceived limits and challenge them - again and again. When we don't, our boundaries shrink and we in turn also shrink. Endure!

One more post for the year

Only a week or so left. A lot of work with the business, with more on the books for the year. I'm looking to bounce back from the setbacks of the past 18-months. A lot on the line and some serious ambitions. I hope to have something more meaningful before the year is over, but then again - it has been a rough year when it comes to riding. Perhaps I should try gazing at what really matters most and let it take me where I can go......

This one seems curiously fitting at the moment.......

Click Here for "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant"

"...I've gotta roll."

Ride HARD!

Been away far too long......

 

Not enough of these days anymore

Priorities, Distractions and Everything In Between

A lot has happened since the previous post. Too many times I would be at my computer late into the evening, thinking I need to update the BLOG - only to be distracted by what would otherwise be described as "priorities". The consulting workload has been considerable, leaving no time to ride. One may think that living as close as I do to all the available trails locally, I'd be on my mountain bike regularly. The image above is the one and only time I took the full-sus out this past season. Long gone are the days of coming home from work and jetting out on my bike, onto the dirt until the daylight was gone. For that matter, gone are a lot of other things as well. I believe it was John Lennon that said " Life is what happens when you are busy making plans". I suppose that is the stuff n between.

Something I learned along time ago is how we as a species have a tendency to make our own priorities. In fact, more often than not it is what we choose to do, rather than what has to be done. I'm sure there are those things that press us into a corner, but it is what we do before that situation comes about. 20-years ago I was working terrible hours, traveling around the globe while meeting other peoples expectations - but somehow I would still roll out of bed at 04:00 to get a hard spin-class in before starting the day. Even when I was on the road, sicker than a dog, I would still put in a solid 45-minutes on an elliptical at whatever crappy hotel I found myself in. Maybe there is more to that motivation thing after all. Or...maybe the years are starting to catch up with me? NAH! I'm just inherently lazy......

Feed Zone Marshal Experience

Riders coming into the Feed Zone Neutral - Afton, Wyoming

My crew has been doing this whole LOTOJA thing for nearly 20-years as a family. We took the three youngest kids up to Afton, providing support at that feed zone this year. Normally they see the "old man" getting out of the truck in the dark at Logan, then chasing the race across the course over the entire day - watching for the old fat guy, dragging his tongue in the dirt throughout the day. This years experience was very different- in a positive way. We started around 07:30 setting up the entire feed zone from scratch. We were in the company of perhaps seven other people, with only a couple of them having ever ridden/raced this, if any event. Most people just take pride in being part of something bigger than themselves. It was interesting to see how the race unfolds from the Pro, 1,2's coming through, to the last of the riders trying to beat the cut-off. Of course, seeing the 800 frame numbers roll through, cut like a jagged piece of glass, as that was my group. You could spot the first timers just by their saucer sized eyes and the abject look of pain like they had never felt before - loving every minute of it. When it was over, we rolled up the operation and tied a few "knots", knowing that the earliest finishers would have only just been rolling in eighty-something miles away. Heading home that evening, we made traditional stop in Randolph, but being race day, there was no long string of vehicles carrying bikes passing by. Some day, hopefully not too soon, this event will be only a memory and those familiar things will fade with other things that we lose in our lives.

Whether you ride, or not - I highly recommend volunteering at a remote feed zone and experience this from that particular perspective. It is truly bigger than anyone's self.

Where to go from here?

There are a lot of things in the mix - none have yet to be settled. We're gonna try making a few changes to the "Porpoise" going forward - as it has become a bit stagnant. Not giving away too much, lets leave it at; everything needs a little restructuring and modification from time to time. Who knows, maybe there will be more dirt in the forecast. There will be a change in the emphasis as it needs a little more direction going forward - for sure.

An Update

The past two seasons have been centered around a class mate and his own battle with the "Big-C". Initially only given maybe 6-months to live, Reed proved those "experts" wrong and pressed a solid and remarkable 20-months out of it all. Like so many things, the final score doesn't tell the tale. No way! He took this thing into extra innings with countless miracles along the way. It was truly a rough ride. Perhaps the most obvious miracle was his angel of a wife - another class mate. I don't believe in mere coincidence and am certain she made the difference between the experts being correct and his willingness to endure. She literally gave him the will to fight and live. In the quiet that follows, we all have that moment of reflection and reconning.  In this case it will be what drives the direction of "Porpoise" for this next season.

This year is about done. Stick around, or occasionally drop by.

"Happy Ways" Pre-Eagle Joe

Ride HARD!

Changing Roles

 Seeing it from another perspective

Packet pickup was a couple days ago. Group lists, chips, bib/frame number - the usual stuff. Nothing more painful than checking in knowing you won't be toeing the line this year. I'm not getting into the details, but this year was a total wash - as in "NO GO". I'm still one to honor my commitments, so the requisite donations were made to Huntsman - albeit a lot more than has been in the past. Regardless, 816 will officially DNS tomorrow morning. I looked down the list and recognized a lot of familiar names. Plowman, several of the former "Red Burrows" and a couple other hot-shots. Make no mistake, these guys can ride. Although I won't be in that starting pack at 06:26, I will see them blowing through the Afton Feed Zone. Never one to be a taker, I contacted my very good friend, the race director (Mr. Awesome) and told him to put me where the need is the greatest. In a couple hours, the fam and I are heading for the ever so beautiful Star Valley, Wyoming to gear up for supporting that operation. Afton is always a favorite, as the community comes out in force. From there you are only 81 miles from the barn. It does get a little busy, as the feed zone is common for all race & ride participants, as well as having a relay transition a couple blocks from the main area. Aiding in the FZ marshalling, I'll drag the hardtail along, as to jet between locations as needed. Speaking to the coordinator last evening, he say's they will need people to make sure all the volunteers get regular breaks - keeping the race moving without a hitch. Make no mistake, seeing this from the inside looking out won't make it easier, but it's time to give back. Still, seeing the 800's blow through will be a gut punch.

Radio guys

A very good friend of mine will be manning the radio crew base in Afton. I know I've talked about them before, but I can never say enough good about these people. Seeing the comms from them starting in late spring, I have a pretty good idea of the effort and commitment they make. Technically they are called "Amateur Radio Operators", but they are anything but amateur. These guys know their business. If not for them, LOTOJA couldn't happen. They literally tie it all together - all while being generally overlooked. When you see one on the road, make certain to give them the recognition they truly deserve, but never aspire to.

The balance

A lot has changed in the past five years. I'm well past the ablation and all that B.S., but I'm not exactly sure where it is I might actually be anymore. Next week will be the time I can reflect and maybe figure it out. As desperate as it sounds, I have yet to have been out on the full-sus on the dirt this year. Autumn has always been my most favorite time of the seasons. Before North Fork became the destination it has become, I would come home from the office and run out on my mountain bike - never seeing another soul anywhere. These days, it is like driving through downtown most evenings. It doesn't matter  if it morning or evening, non-stop people. Not being a people person, I find it hard to enjoy those rides anymore. Frankly, I'm to the point I need to learn acceptance of the things I can't change and embrace the things I otherwise can. In the balance will be what becomes of future riding and racing. I mean, you can only be beat down so long before you can't get up - or is that the definition of success? Regardless, things are going to have to change. With that in mind, I will be making some serious evaluations this fall. I can promise the direction will be known by the final post of the year - which may also be the final post PERIOD.

Click here. It's not Mr. Blue Sky, but this Really Fits the moment. 

Time to take some....Time.

Leaders, Followers & Drifting

 

An early morning on the Six-13 - Out at the point.

Things you don't say

I've made a few trips around the sun - like a lot. During that time I have learned the importance of observation, versus jumping to conclusions and judgement. One of the things I have learned is how to spot those that truly lead as opposed to those who simply follow. Contrary to cultural mythology, leaders are not necessarily "Type-A", or "alpha-dogs". Often they are unassuming, but deliberate. I have also learned (the hard way) to be leery - rather to steer clear of those individuals that say it out load (they are leaders). Those are the ones that get everyone killed to feed their self-righteous ego. History is full of these types. Simon Sinek has pushed the idea that leaders "always eat last". There is a lot of truth to this and is not limited to actually the meal time activities. There are those that are first in, last out and never above the smallest task. Again, this is not to be confused either with superb military strategists, but individuals that their very presence is enough to elicit your own self confidence. In the end it is never and I do mean never, the things a person says. In some cases it may not even be what action a person does, but rather who they reveal themselves to be. Charisma aside, its that person you would instinctively follow out (or in) of a burning building without having to be told to do so.

Things to know

At some point, in fact the majority of the time, even leaders have to follow someone else. But that whole "following" thing gets a bad name, as it implies weakness and lack of direction. Many a business has been built on the idea of "building leaders", with the idea a person has to be broken down and learn to follow before they can be taught to lead. This idea that you can pay a pile of cash to someone else to make you a leader flies in the face of the laws of nature. Corporate culture, the military and virtually every other organization is full of what I call cardboard leaders - people that are placed into positions of "authority" as a matter of "the process". This is largely why I personally left the corporate world after nearly four-decades. At any given moment (don't wait until the end of the day), a person needs to know why they are doing what they are doing. Are you fighting for someone else's misguided cause, or does that guy with the red flowing hair and very nice uniform actually know what he is doing (my little Big Horn reference)? Who's water are you carrying and why? Does that person (or people) that claim to be leading really believe they're acting in your best interest, or do they tell you your fall will benefit those who survive. Military history is full of these stories - again the British slaughter at Anzio comes to mind. Don't assume you are a follower and have to charge the machine gun nest for the benefit of those that will survive. Rather, consider what the objective really is and figure it out. And by the way, feeding the "machine" is never a worthy objective. Put your time, effort and blood into that place where it makes the most difference - and that is NEVER carrying the water for someone who tells you that your sacrifice is needed for the others that will follow. In doing what really matters, you will be a leader without ever having to be recognized as such.

Have a Purpose

Know why you are doing what you are doing - at all times. Have a tangible purpose to operate. All thrust and no vector is how a balloon operates. Don't blow it for the sake of doing so. Look at what you have done at the end and assess if it was truly worth your energy to have done so in the first place. Time is a funny thing. It is irrevocable and non-refundable. Are you willing to give it away so cheaply. Would you give away your last twenty-dollars without considering where it was going? Stop giving your time and energy away to things that advance other peoples causes unless you are willing to let someone else own you in the end. That isn't the same as asking "what's in it for me", but maybe you should know who is getting the cheaply sold commodity of your own time and effort. Do everything in your day with a purpose.

A Sister making a huge difference....

If you have been following this effort over the years, you certainly know how a couple of my sisters are regular contributors to the Porpoise thing. This year has been no exception. This sister is perhaps the meaning of even-keel and steady. Always a constant in the universe regardless of the surrounding environment, she is virtually immortal - kind of the Dick Clark of her own day. Ageless and reliable. Never one to seek attention, but always on station regardless of the situation. Without any prompting this year (as the whole Porpoise thing has been rather dormant), she has again jumped in for the swim - in a very big way. I have also related this story as how one of my most memorable Christmas exchange gifts was the album from 1976. Still one of my favorites mainly for being a gift, much less the content of the vinyl tracks themselves. As I write this, I'm listening to a random shuffle and the title track just came on. I do not believe in coincidence. Thanks Sis! Dick Clark could never have been as cool as you.

Click here for "Band On the Run"  

Important update in a few days....... Until then

Ride HARD!

In Between Places

Atop the Avon Divide Road

 Breaking Stuff

I've been putting more miles on the hardtail than the road bike this year. That was until I broke another spoke on the drive side of the rear wheel - AGAIN!  Right at what I was planning to be a 4 hour tempo ride across the valley, "PING" - that too familiar sound of a spoke breaking at the J-hook. Only a few miles from home, I had to do a soft pedal back to the casa. I pulled out a bullet proof set of DT Swiss dirt wheels and made up a set with some cross country dirt tires.  These wheels have a straight pull-through spoke that is less susceptible to failure. Great racing stuff. About an hour later, I was out riding hills with dirt tires. A couple days later I setup a set of trainers for the road bike and made a quick once over check of everything on the old road bike. Truth is, that thing is getting old and worn out. I realized the tune up I gave it last year was.....not so good. I used the wrong cable guides for road shifting cables - leading to less than desirable results. I also had to replace the carbon-fiber seat post - AGAIN. This may be the last year for that bike, as tech has really changed in the past few years. Add to that my riding posture has also changed, I should probably make a change.

Skeet Shooting

The picture above is on the Avon Divide Road, about 1/4 mile from the top. Somewhere there is a picture of some of us skeet shooting at this very spot, 40 years ago, nearly to the day. This was at a very pivotal time in my own life, as I had spent the previous nearly two years in a downward, self destructive pattern of behavior. Neck deep in what I thought was the end of the world at that time, I was told some critical information about events that had occurred two years before, without my knowledge. The events that led up to the moment two years early is what set me off on my downward trend. It was only a few days before going skeet shooting at this particular place, that I was briefly made aware of a very critical detail. Some ships just have too much inertia to stop and turn - as was my case then. It got me to thinking of what I was doing and what choices I had yet to make. I wouldn't say I had an awakening, but I can tell you it was definitely a moment that changed everything going forward. I never did get the full story of what actually happened two years before. Sure, it still haunts me, as I tend to think of the worst scenarios - but somehow things only now are beginning to make better sense. Like I said, somewhere there is a picture. I'm just not sure the story will ever be fully told - as is life.

a calm morning at the point.

Competing Schedules

This consulting thing has really taken off. In the process it has also began eating away at my time to train - or pretend to train. For the past four-weeks I've had to drive to a site in Southern California, do some work and immediately turn right back around to go home. Typically out and back in about 24 hours with little to no sleep. Not only does that cut into my time for training, it completely wrecks me for the next couple of days. Needless to say, everything has been at a minimum training-wise. A lot of intervals. A lot of hard and quick, short duration sessions of just about anything. I'm not sure how well it is doing, as I have no metric to compare against yet. With the Cache Century in just over a week, that may be my only real check point.

Leadville

A couple of my buddies did make it to Leadville this year. I was supposed to be with them, but that has already been discussed. The event added two new groups, with about 300 more rider than before. Needless to say, it sounds as though things went poorly. Both of them finished, but nowhere near their times from a couple years ago. Of course, Keegan won it again, but fell short of his record - still sub-six-hours. That's five in a row for the Heber Valley kid. Dave Wiens did six in a row before losing to Lance, the year Lance came out of retirement and went back on the tour. Wiens beat him the year before, but Lance crushed the course the next year, having just completed his seventh TDF victory. As Wiens said, "Last year Lance was riding off the couch. This year he was riding off the tour." We'll we know how that ended anyway. Wiens is still an animal, as he was doing it on a 26" bike, with crappy tech. That bike Keegan ran this year was closer to a Gravel Bike than a mountain bike - with the absolute techiest tech to be had. We'll see what the off season looks like before we talk about next year.

Not sure why this one seemed to be the pick....

Click here for JD Souther - If your only lonely

Ride HARD!

Having been called out........

A near full moon over the top after an evening of hill intervals.

 You have some s'planin to do Lucy...

So.....it's been a while, like a long while. A lot has happened and a lot more to explain. This goes against everything this blog has ever stood for in the past. It has never been about me, but rather a vehicle to drive the message and provide an easy link to Huntsman. But there have been a few things happen that need to be discussed. So sit back for some "splanin".

Heart Rhythm Issues

Last year, early in the spring, I noticed some variation in my heart rhythm - at odd times. Truth is, it's been going on for a long time, but finally decided to have it checked out. As infrequent as it was (very infrequent), I happened to catch it using my pulse-oximeter and blood-pressure cuff. I was able to get into to see a doctor at the time it was happening, which they were able to diagnose atrial-fibrillation (a-fib). It had some very screwy characteristics as it was a very low rhythm comparatively speaking. Still the rhythm was confirmed. That sent me to an electro-physiologist (EP) to take it further. After wearing a remote pain in the butt monitor for 30-days, they still couldn't capture it. Several other tests indicated my overall heart and cardiovascular system was in great condition - just that pesky a-fib thing that they couldn't capture. The EP is actually a serious cyclist himself as well. I've known him for about 10-years. We've discussed various training methods outside of this situation before. He knows what he is dealing with when it comes to me. He told me to continue my training and plan on doing LOTOJA that September, or to call him if anything changed - with a follow up visit scheduled for a few weeks after the race.

On race day things started out normal, with a group that I knew would get fast going into the 22-mile climb at Mink Creek. Climbing that first hill going into Riverdale, Idaho, I completely went flat. I just assumed it was my poor conditioning and was resigned to catching whatever groups I could going to Montpelier. At Montpelier I was gassed - as in never have I ever felt that bad. I new continuing would mean a hell of a time on my own, with winds straight on going through Star Valley. At that point my gut told me to quit - against all other instincts. I pulled the plug and threw my bike on the truck - it was over. The next day when I docked my Garmin, I had logged 90-minutes in zone-4 with 45-minutes in zone-5. My heartrate peaked at 172 BPM which is completely off the charts for my age - especially for that long. No, I wasn't in danger of a stroke or heart attack, but I was literally running on half a heart for nearly 3-hours. A few weeks later when I met with the EP, he looked at me funny like I was telling him a story. Again, he told me to keep going and let him know if anything changed.

Fast forward to March. With snow still on the ground, I was doing hill intervals on the hardtail trying to get in front of things for the season. On the 8th I did a full session with my heart rate peaking at 157 BPM (low end of zone-5), with 1 minute recoveries at 95-105 BPM - right where it is supposed to be. On the 10th I had been working all day and felt totally gassed, but still was committed to doing hill intervals. I made it through 2 full climbs and was halfway through the third when I decided to call it quits for the night. When I docked the Garmin I saw a sharp contrast to the effort two days before. Peak heartrate was 172 BPM, with the recovery never dropping below 140 BPM. Armed with the graphical data (and I am a data guy), I went back to see the EP. This time he believed me, as I had the graphs to show him. As a matter of urgency regarding the training season, he wanted me in for an ablation in early May. On May 16th, I had an ablation to remedy the erratic and unpredictable a-fib thing. They found no problems such as scar tissue or other damage. The best he could tell me was just a combination of some stupid stuff - like high intensity interval training for years, but nobody really knows for sure. 

After the procedure, I was back on the spin bike less than 2-days later. Back doing hill intervals at normal rate on day 4. After about two weeks, I couldn't get my heart rate above 150 BPM, but my recovery was still spot on. Doing a follow up visit with his PA, it was decided that I should forgo any long distance endurance stuff for 90-days. That put me out of Leadville for sure, but gives me an opportunity to dive back into LOTOJA - albeit with very limited training. If 90-days puts me at around August 14th, that gives me less than one full month of riding to pull off LOTOJA. Basically it is something like 9-days prior to the Cache Valley Century. Sounds a little tight to me - but it's better than nothing. I'm still shooting for it, with key mile-stones and markers to hit along the way.

Putting it all into context

So.... this past spring I went down to see Reed while he was in the rehab hospital at the U. He was there again for over a month, still putting up a fight. He told me they had only given him 6-months to live when he was first diagnosed, but at that point he had already made it 15-months. This during the time I was uncertain about the ablation, as they hadn't even scheduled me yet. In fact, I wasn't sure what my prognosis would be. After a couple visits with Reed and his wife, I really had a glimpse of what a stud he is - being so optimistic. He wasn't pissed off, no little rain clouds, no pity - just happy for each day he had to spend with his wife, even if it wasn't exactly ideal. WHAT A STOIC! And here I was moping about my petty little problems.

I have made this point over and over again. There are people who would give their eye-teeth to suffer on a bicycle by their own choice, versus what they are dealing with. Sure, it's only riding my bike, but I still can ride my bike and by hell I will show up to that starting line with every intention of following through like I have done for some many years. Sure that's a big check for my body to cash, but I do have the capacity to make it happen - somehow.

Being called out

Occasionally we all need to be called out for our inadequacies. In this case, I had been really thinking about it for some time, but really wasn't sure how, or where to start again (writing). It takes a special pain in the "hunna" (as coach Save would like to say) to get a point across. Here's the bottom line; we are all capable of being better than we are. As we get older we somehow believe we don't need to go through the same process of reinventing ourselves to actually be our true selves. Right, sounds backward, but it's true. We sell sell out to the first and easiest thing that comes along - making us feel comfortable. Well...being comfortable will get you killed in nature. You have to really know who you are, not what you want other people to think you are. Be true to yourself - and I mean your real self. Nobody cares if you are a self proclaimed hard-ass. Be what you were built to be - like when you were six-years old. Put away the facade. Drop the mask. So there may be a few scars. Wear them with pride, but don't let them reshape you. The true story of the Elephant Man speaks to this point exactly. An elegant example of presenting yourself as you are and being that person you in fact were born to be. Here were are.........

More updates

In know it is late, but there will be regular updates for the rest of the season - regardless of how everything stacks up. It won't be easy and hasn't been to this point. Stick around. We have a steep hill to climb.......

Going back a few years. Thanks for the reminder "IZ"

Click here for Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawio'ole

Ride HARD! (like you mean it)

Where it all Started

 Spontaneous commitments

I'm not sure of the year, but the image above was from the fist year I chose to ride for Huntsman. My then employer, sponsored a pretty well developed cycling club - within the company. Actually, the group of local riders took things by the horns and developed a club that raised enough money to underwrite all the entries for all Huntsman riders into LOTOJA. The end collective effort raised a ton of money and other support for The Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of Utah. At least one year prior to my initial support of Huntsman, I was asked to represent the company at the awards event the morning after the race. Of course I felt completely out of place, but did the happy face thing for the corporate picture. Somewhere along the line I felt like a taker, not a giver - not a comfortable feeling for me personally. About this same time, several of the guys I would ride with were going their separate ways, leaving me to develop more self-motivation. It seemed like a good idea to jump in with Huntsman, as nobody else with the company had done so prior to that point. So....I jumped onboard and found a new group of friends, not mention a purpose. But that didn't immediately lead to the "Porpoise". Truthfully, I don't remember when the whole "Porpoise" thing came about in earnest. 

That first year was a serious struggle, as miles and motivation were both limited. Somewhere along the way, I had learned that my cousin had been diagnosed with an aggressive type of brain cancer. Without a doubt, that was on my mind throughout that summer. I distinctly remember riding back from East Canyon, coming up and over Trappers Loop, having to grind over the last mile of climbing. It was during that climb I thought of the certain pain and frustration my cousin must be feeling through her battle. I always knew that my pain and suffering could stop by me simply stopping, but hers....well that wasn't case. Fast forward to the evening prior to race day. I usually spend the day going over all the details; kit bags, mechanicals, support crew coordination....all the stuff that matters. Part of that is pinning my bib number on my jersey (which is an art). Here I had this new and never before worn jersey from Huntsman -the first time I wouldn't ride with the company colors. Just out of nowhere came this idea to write my sweet cousin's name on my sleeve with a Sharpy marker. Nobody else knew anything about it, until the next morning when I aske my daughter (part of my support crew) to take that picture and get it to my sisters. I thought maybe they would post it on some type of social media - maybe get back to her as my way of saying "I'd take a bullet for you". Lets not kid ourselves, riding a bike is a long way from taking a bullet. That afternoon, as I rode up Snake River Canyon, I was suffering. Remembering that name on my sleeve gave me the strength to go forward and endure the pain and discomfort. When I rolled across the line in Teton Village that evening, I had my daughter take another picture. From there we were over the mountain to Driggs, Idaho where I could finally take a shower and recover from 204 miles of what I thought was Hell. From Driggs, we drove home the next morning, unloaded all the gear and hung the bike on the wall, for the transition to mountain biking. The next morning while I was at work I received a message from one of my sisters that "Mindy" (as we knew her) had lost that battle.

I don't believe in coincidence.

The next year Melinda's husband lost his battle with the "Big-C". Along the way, I have also lost many -  like way too many, friends and co-workers to some form of this shit. Of course Reed is still fighting like the "Fighting Scot" that he is, but this past winter we lost Mindy's younger sister - Dana. I had no idea that she was in her own battle. I was honored to spend the afternoon of my birthday at her graveside service - and I do mean honored, while  still being completely humbled. It broke me in that same place that I broke when I had received word about Mindy's passing. Since that day this past February I have contemplated a lot of these searing events - knowing how absolutely helpless we all are in the end - ALL of us. You can go back and read too many of my posts that I have mentioned these other individuals in my life that have been blasted by the "Big-C". I stopped by a couple times to visit our Brother Reed while he was in the hospital recently. He has the most remarkable up-beat attitude. Total optimism of virtually everything. The doctors only gave him six months, but like fighters he and his awesome wife are....we'll it's been well over a year and he's not backing down (chalk it up to being a happy warrior). From all of this, I can find strength - strength to accept my petty problems and fight them with the vigor and determination all of these people I speak of have done. Letting them pass without that lesson would be a disservice to anyone of them.

An Early Start on the Hardtail

No, I'm not doing the snow bike thing. Never mind the fact I live right next to a huge snow-bike area and still have that stupid fat-tire bike - I just won't bring myself to doing it. Rather, I've been putting limited and early miles on the hardtail. I'm really getting a good feel for that bike - as well I had better. If I'm going to be successful at Leadville, it will have to be on that bike. But I have a long way to go all the way around. 

Trying a few different things

The road up and over the Avon Divide has mostly burned off this past week. The image above is right near the top, where there is still a little snow, but worse yet - MUD. I've learned that lesson the hard way. I was debating whether to use the full -sus with the gnarly tires, or take my chance with the hardtail and the Serfas Drifters. Well....there she is, Drifters and all. It was a little sketchy, but that bike is so responsive, you can feel it all. Talk about a fast bike; that thing is faster than I'm currently capable and requires a lot more skill than I possess at the moment. Riding my full-sus has made me soft and lazy, letting my already pathetic skills become even more so. I'm debating on adding a dropper-post, as well as upgrading the forks. It definitely needs a bigger front ring to crush the oil sections at Leadville, but I'll need the legs to be able to climb with the loss of the lower end. Basically, I have my work cut out for me. Stick around. Now that I can actually get out more often, this should also precipitate some more frequent posts with updates.

A shout-out

While at the afore mentioned service back in February, I was every so fortunate to have met up with my other cousin Stacy. We are closer in age to each other than the other two sisters. There was a time when our families were pretty close and did a few thing together. As life tends to go, somehow that all kind of ended. The last time we actually were in each others company was spring 1983. Wow, I can't believe it has been a literally a life time. She reminds me of our grandmother - strong, determined and a genuine stud! Hard to explain, but that brief visit opened my eyes and even inspired me. It has made me put a few things into perspective - that I will not elaborate at this point (superstitious). Lets see if I can make the most of that gift. Stay tuned.........

"You're a shinning star, no matter who you are......."

Click here for EW&F - Shinning Star, '75 was pretty good.

 

Ride HARD!