Reeds Donation Page Link

Reeds Donation Page Link
Click here to donate directly to Reed's Go Fund Me page. Please help our brother!

Sunday, August 20, 2023

The Push - Needing Some Help!

 


East Canyon

Where we're at.........

Officially just under 3 weeks to go and still a lot of ground to makeup. This past week was a reasonably good ride to East Canyon, over above Morgan. It's been a while since I have last done that ride and it was good to be back. A pretty long stretch, I typically take a there bottles of water and several different items for fuel. My time getting over Trappers was a bit slow, but not totally bad. The total time to the turn-around was about what I had expected. It still is no solid indicator of where I am, but I know there is a long way to go yet.  Lets hope for a solid week......

Huntsman Needs Your Help

Looking at the Huntsman/Lotoja home page, it tells a pretty dire story. As of this writing, they have logged less than 15% of the overall goal - meaning things are not looking good. Normally this close to the event, it has more than 50% of the total goal received. It appears there are only 71 participants this year, with a total commitment of only $71K. That's not even half the overall goal of $150K . I'm sure this is a combination of numerous things, but it still speaks of desperate times.

How the Porpoise came to be....

I can't clearly remember when I first started to ride for Huntsman, but it seems to be nine years ago. My employer at the time would donate $20K to effectively underwrite all the entry fees for the LOTOJA riders in Huntsman, as well as supporting other charitable events. I needed something (a purpose) to drive myself along with this whole LOTOJA thing. Add to that the number of people I knew which had fought a battle with the "Big-C", with varying results. It seemed like the thing to do at that time. What I couldn't have known at the time is the effect and experiences that would pile-up along the way. This cheesy blog started as simply a way to direct people into the donation page - as it is kind of hard otherwise. Through this, I shared some very personal experiences and details. Since then, my now former employer, has long since ceased donating to the cause, or any cause for that matter. This left a huge hole in the budget for Huntsman  - without any prior notice, or explanation. Basically, it's what big corporations do when leadership (or lack there of) change. Since that change over five years ago, I solidified my commitment to Huntsman to simply do what I can, as long as I can.

Economic Swings

What I have noticed through these years is that the donation page is a very good indicator of consumer confidence and the overall economy.  It tends to be a leading indicator, as donations are not organically flowing in to the organization. Well, here we are again. This time appears to be more obvious than in years past. Sure, the landscape is also changing, but the need for treatment and facilities has never been greater. This cause knows no slowdown due to economic conditions. 

Personal Stories

You can go back and look at several past posts where I mention the different people over these years that have lost their personal battles with the "Big-C". As time goes on, it never seems to end. Former co-workers, childhood friends, family members, neighbors - I mean the list goes on. What doesn't change is the insidious effect it has on everyone - and I mean everyone. I'm just a dumb engineer, not a doctor. I do know we all can have a positive effect by doing just a little bit. As you stop to think about it, consider how a little from a lot of people can go a long way.

Ten days to 10% - The Campaign

The Porpoise is pushing to raise 10% of the current total Huntsman accrued amount by the August 30th. Rounded up, that will be something in the order of $2,200 to be raised and donated. In doing this, it will take the effort of a lot of people. Everybody knows somebody, and in turn - they know somebody.  In the end, a little from a lot can go a long way - and that's what is needed. During this time, posts will increase, while personal contacts are going out. It's time to show what human resolve is all about.  How about it?

One of the sisters comes through again.........

To kick things off, one of the regular "Porpoise" supporters has already come through. One of my  sisters is leading the way. She has been a great inspiration all of these years and an unwavering supporter of many things that are good. In a post several years back, I detailed how she gave me one of my all time most memorable Christmas gifts - 1976, "Band On the Run". I wore out that piece of vinyl and still have it to this day. She knows how to make things happen. Thanks big-sis!

Big things to come!


Ride HARD!

Saturday, August 12, 2023

Time to Climb

 Snow Basin


Elevation graph of a typical morning ride to Snow Basin.

A large part of LOTOJA is climbing - a lot of climbing. Starting with the 22-miles up and over Strawberry, the 9-mile grind to the top of Geneva Summit and the KoM segment that ends the long slog over Salt River Pass. Nobody really counts the 24-miles up Snake River Canyon, as the tail-wind usually makes it feel like it's down hill. And then there is that heartbreaker just before we cross the highway at the south end of Jackson. It taps what little you have in your legs, only to give a last minute hurt before the final 15 miles home.

Training has to include extended periods of climbing, both to build leg strength and mental fortitude. The mental part is everything. Everyone reaches a point where their body wants them to stop. If you are not in control of your body, it will always win that battle. The key is to condition your mind to overcome the pain-threshold and work past what may otherwise be perceived as limits. The Monday morning ride was on an empty stomach, taking a Gu at the bottom of Trappers and another just out of Snow Basin, at MP1 (the peak elevation). This made for an ideal "bonk" condition about 10 miles from home. Wednesday, I decided to shovel down a little oatmeal before leaving. I also changed my water bottles to more energy versus hydration. That call is a fine line, as sweat is pouring out of my helmet - even with a HALO sweat-diverter. Somewhere along the way I squeezed-down a Hammer-Gel and then stopped at the brake-check just before coming down from Trappers, to pound a quick Ensure. Needless to say, there was enough fuel to not bonk, but rather give my legs the workout they needed. Still, the stats aren't the best, as I still don't push my heartrate up above the mid 150's. A little posture fatigue in the lower back, with some difficulty on the descents, trying to keep my head up.

Hill Intervals


Relative elevations with heartrate - hill repeating intervals.

When schedules are conflicting and training rides sometimes scarce, interval training is a reasonable substitute. The grind tonight was somewhat disappointing, but did yield some positive results. My heartrate peaked at the third interval, with values dropping in each one thereafter. When I compare my ground speed, it is clear that I started to slow down, with each subsequent climb.
Typical hill segment: 185 feet of elevation, over 2,640 feet (1/2 mile) distance.

These segments are pretty intense. slight variations, with progressive increases along the way, topped-off by a "spoke-bender" right at the top - it can really get your legs burning if you are pushing it. It's boring as all get out, but effective. I need to start watching my ground speed to push and maintain an average speed a little higher than currently being produced.

Key Markers

Miles Post 1, SR 226 - Snow Basin Road, Inbound (heading home)

Every year I have a few key markers along the way. SR226 MP1, SR38 MP44, Full Trappers (over and back) and of course Woodruff. How I get there doesn't seem to matter anymore, as much as just getting there - period. This is always a mind-game and getting past those key markers is critical. There is a lot to learn from all of this suffering. It seems that every year I have to learn it all over again - the hard way. Once I get these things back down, confidence returns and pretty soon - it's race day. Almost as quick as it happens, it has passed - only to long for the opportunity to electively suffer again. I love the changing of the seasons, but it seems they are turning faster than I remember. Still, those markers are there to entice me, challenge me and torment me. 

Chose to Accept a Struggle

We are "beasts of burden". We are built to do hard things - pushing us past our self imposed limits. Sometimes hard things are forced upon us. Other times, we force ourselves into them willingly. The struggle leads to our own growth. Accept it for what it is. We generally know what is in our better interest, but we default far too often into a compromise. As we age, our conditions change, perhaps making our limits a bit more difficult. Sometimes it is purely physical, while other times it is a matter of responsibilities. Regardless, push back and drive ahead. Own your destiny, don't accept someone else's idea of your success. Never compromise your principles - your constitution. Live them as though it is what defines you. If "birds of a feather flock together" is true (and it is), look at who you are watering with, associating with, following in society. Is that sustainable? Is that what you really choose to be, or do you accept it as a compromise? Set your course, beyond the viewable horizon and be prepared to accept the rewards of a struggle.

461 Ocean Blvd - It's always this time of year

Don't ask why, but August and Monte Cristo always bring 461 back into my mind. Going back 45 years ago - it just seems like last week. It was the absolute best time of my life - if I had only known it at the time. Crossing those shoulders of Monte - the pain goes away and I'm in another world.


Ride HARD!



Sunday, August 6, 2023

Making Progress - Training

 

Monsoonal rains bringing it in buckets.

Dealing with weather and doubts

The classical summer monsoonal-flows arrived this past week. After a couple weeks of heat, it did bring some cooler weather - but the rains.....oh boy! I've learned that forcing rides in bad weather can be costly and counter productive. Earlier in the week I was able to put down a couple decent early morning tempo rides, but after that it was all indoors until a break Thursday evening. Knowing that a storm could quickly materialize, I lit-out for what should have been a quick 50 minute sprint around the middle tracks. Of course there was the expected mud-puddles, but most of them could be avoided. I know from experience that a lot of that "goo" is like grease. Avoid it when possible, as it flips everywhere and can lead to a quick "wash-out" if not careful. Even with the heavy/aggressive tread of the Continentals, I had to take it easy in several places. Wet roots also made for some concerns climbing out of the switchbacks, but still nice to be rolling again.

Dropping into the top of what should normally be a fast ride out.

As late as it was and the clouds coming over the mountain, I threw a trail light on front, as the north side of the ride is dark, even on a good day. The picture above shows how the otherwise well-worn trail was pretty beat down from the heavy rain. Steep grade like this were still pretty tight, but looking ahead for scouring and washes was essential. Down in the lower sections, there were several "grease" puddles that were sketchy at speed - but generally manageable. Several places along the way, the higher speeds were flipping stuff everywhere - making is hard to see at times. The Garmin stats were anything but impressive - more like a casual ride than anything. Rolling into the garage at dark with the lights on felt like September, but nice all the same.

Intervals

When lacking solid road miles, intervals is a great way to makeup the difference.  The old standby is always the steep hill behind our house.  Not able to ride yesterday morning, I barely made it home to get out on the hill for a quick session of "racks". A tad bit abbreviated, it was a solid 67 minutes at rate, but still not getting the heartrate up where I'd like. Lights on both front and back, I finished in the dark. Normally riding this in the dark is only sketchy while dealing with the local wildlife, but the recent rains washed a ton of debris onto the road. Doing this with suitable visibility is one thing, in the dark with headlights....sub-optimal. I could feel it in my legs this morning, so I must have done something right. Dirt riding in the right conditions is a lot like intervals - just not structured. Tonight I made time to ride Mules Ear to the top again. Overall I'd give it a C+/B-, with a couple complications. The last turn right at the top, bucked me off again - like it has nearly every other time up there this season. It's a steep, loose and rocky hair-pin that takes leg strength and balance to make it work - that and the correct line. After getting up to the top, I wasn't really satisfied with the effort, so I rode back to a good spot and sessioned it. Sessioning is common with technical mountain bikers, trying to find the right approach, line and method to conquer something like this. I mean, I've ridden this thing countless times, but tonight it just seemed like I didn't own it anymore. Over the past few years, this section of trail has developed into a loose and shaley type grind. It was bad enough when nobody else rode it and it was regularly overgrown. Well.... all of the popularity of the this section has diminished the overgrowth at the expense of a predictable trail. One return session was enough to find the line and make it around to the top. Those little spots are where the heartrate peaks, followed by quick recoveries. A good way to offset the lack of saddle time otherwise.

Confidence

Confidence cannot be overstated. That little sessioning thing above was all about regaining confidence. It's hard to imagine that you can have done something countless times, but being away from it for even the shortest time can result in a lack of confidence. It doesn't take much to make you forget how you may have been so certain in the past. In such a situation, the only way out is to face it head-on.  Too often  we accept small, or subtle changes as though major events. In our minds, we let those things control us - in fact own us. At the end of the day, all of this has to do with self-confidence and overcoming darkness. It is human nature to fall into complacency, as these types of things don't trigger our "fight or flight" conditions. Before we know it, we allow the shift to take place right before our very eyes. At that point, pushing back is much harder and our confidence spent. The time and effort to regain our own confidence can be grueling, but there is no substitute.

Looking ahead

Not a lot of time to get things in order, but at least there is time nonetheless. It's time to go after some big rides and serious climbs. Putting things in perspective and keeping priorities is a must. No time to fret about what has been missed. Just be grateful for the path that is still open in front of us. No time to allow for squandering of opportunities and resources. Sure, it is easy to take an alternate path at this point, but that isn't being true to ones own self. Do the trials of our lives define us, or do we define ourselves by how we conquer our opportunities? We are who we are. What have you given up that you otherwise should have protected? Own it, earn it, but don't take a course that isn't your own predefined route. Unless, that is really who you are.

The familiar shot at the top. It feels good to own that again.



Ride HARD!

 

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Does it matter?

 




An early morning at the recently finished Bluff Point - Pine View

Training Updates

A lot of things are challenging the ride schedule this year. Some of it predictable, while others....not as much. Splitting time between the dirt and road, with road rides mainly during the early morning hours and dirt later in the evening. Keeping close stats with the Garmin tells me I have a lot of work to do and not much time to do it. I haven't developed the confidence to try and push long, extended climbs. Rather, I'm back to climbing intervals, where I am struggling to get my heart rate into the mid 160's anymore. I'm told that with my resting heart rate in the low 40's, given my age, I'm actually doing okay - but that's someone else's opinion. I need to hit it harder.

An early morning over looking Causey

Blown Opportunities

One of my longest ambitions has been to ride and complete Leadville. If you don't know what that's all about, I'll spare you the details. Lets just say I have been given the opportunity and am not able to meet the challenge. Like so many things in life, sometimes sacrifices have to be made - generally at my expense. Thinking about it makes me sick. Writing about it.........we'll, it makes me want to puke! I'm likely to never have that opportunity again and knowing that only makes it worse. Still, a couple buddies were able to get in and they are gonna ride it in two weeks. These guys are machines - studs by every sense of the word. I know they'll both finish and suspect they'll finish under the coveted 9-hour mark.

What Truly matters - after all?

I, no doubt, spend more time stewing about things that don't really matter. And believe me, I have stowed my fair share of baggage. There is a fine line between what matters and what one should simply let go into the past. After all, you are where you are now - not that you can go back and change it. Still, turning pages and closing books are not the same thing. This is the difference between experience, wisdom and knowledge. Don't confuse them with each other, but recognize their relationships. Experience is what we get along the way - whatever that way may be. Knowledge is knowing how hot something may be. Wisdom.....having felt the burn of that thing first hand. Still, living in the past gets you nowhere. Living without learning will get you burned. But when is it time to close a book versus look back and when to simply turn pages?

Atop the overlook at Mules Ear - evening ride.

Unfinished Business...that will never be resolved

 Point of Inflection

I woke up this past Monday morning, before my alarm - as usual. This time I had a very distinct recollection of exactly 40 years ago. In my mind was literally the phrase "point of inflection" - the point at which a mathematical function changes direction. The last week of July, the first week of August, 1983 was such a point. Trouble is, I didn't realize it for another two years. At that, it was more questions than answers - still largely unanswered to this very day. There is a part of me that longs for the answers, but I know I need to let it go. I mean, it truly haunts me and I don't know why. To say it was a point of inflection is an understatement. Turns out, it affected more lives than mine alone. That Monday morning last week, I set out on a ride with that on my mind. The thinking that goes on during these rides is rather deep at times - and this was certainly no exception.

What I thought only the elephants may have known

The details are still somewhat clear to me, but those over the course of about that next ten days are kind of out of sorts. The Def Leppard /Uriah Heap concert - so load my teeth hurt for a week. My brothers wedding the end of the next week was a blur, due to the pain meds I had to take. What I didn't know was the pain I had experienced was something that started a week earlier, and unknowingly was burning at my very soul. Little did I know and only to find out two years later, what I thought was known only to a couple wooden elephants, would become knowledge to total strangers. Right, it sounds cryptic and it is for good reason. The point is, sometimes in the quietest of places, these things come back to haunt me. And when I'm on a long ride, the craziest thing can bring those thoughts into my head - but only the details of which I am aware. The rest remains a qualified mystery.

Recently I have began to doubt much of my own self. Be it the events of a few years ago, last Autumn, or forty-years ago, I have more than enough to sort through.........or so it may seem. Sounds like a very long ride is in order.

Great Minds Think Alike...or so they say.

"I woke last night to the sound of thunder. How far off I sat an wondered. Started hummin' a song from 1962. Ain't it funny how the night moves?" The things that wake me at nights is rarely thunder. Matter of fact, I sleep better in the worst of weather. But those metaphorical thunder claps.....they can really get my attention. Bob said it best; "....when you haven't much to lose."  All of our Autumns are closing in. No time to wait. No time for waste. No time for haste.  It's time to move on.............


Ride Hard!


Saturday, July 22, 2023

Riding through.....

 Opportunity - when it knocks



















So often we fail to make the most of our opportunities, as they present themselves. The above image was an early morning tempo-ride, on the old road bike. Mid 40 degrees when I set out that morning, and not even 60 degrees by the time I got home. Sure, these aren't the most challenging miles, but they sure can make a difference in an attitude. I track my performance with a Garmin device, giving me all the important details. Truth is, these rides may fatigue me, but my heartrate never really gets up where I'd like it to be. That takes some work.....work I'm really not doing like I should.





















The other day I chose to put-off riding until the evening, thinking it would be a nice cool ride after a long hot day. Spending most of the day working on my computer, I finally decided to make a quick dash for my gear and get out the door for an hour dirt session. The image above is what greeted me, on my way out of the garage. It almost doesn't look to be real - oh, but is was very real. Having been caught on that mountain in some pretty ferocious storms, I wouldn't take the chance of being taken out by a falling tree, lightning bolt, or flying-monkey (oh, they are real). That same night, a woman was crushed by a falling tree down on an oiled pedestrian trail, while riding the Rio Grande. Not worth the chance - believe me.




















By the next morning, everything was pretty dry. Although not too early, it was still cool and very humid, with the clouds still hanging on Ben Lomond Peak (shown above). I'm not sure that I saw another soul on the trail, but I also wasn't in a hurry either. Taking in all the beauty is sometimes difficult when my tongue is dragging in the dirt - working my guts out. My mountain bike skills are lacking considerably. I struggle on down-hill stuff, I should be gliding through. The trails are getting enough traffic, that there are subtle changes every day.  What use to be my hidden little secret has become a mecca for riders - from all over.  It kind of sucks. Still, I certainly haven't made the most of my opportunities when I otherwise could. 

Needing some direction

If you have been here, you'll know this shot. It is remarkable, as it looks over the broad spread of the valley. So many times I make this climb (up above to the dead-end overlook), with some crazy idea that I will receive some sort of inspiration, or direction. Well......from that very location, the only direction to go is down. Maybe about 20 minutes from rolling back into my garage at home. I think it is safe to say, we too often expect some divine source to reach down from the clouds and speak to us - as if in a Monty Python skit (stop your groveling). It doesn't work that way - at all. Putting our own darkness and uncertainty behind us is totally up to the individual. Making the most of what you have, with what you have, while you have it......well, you do the math. It's pretty simple.

Pain and Endurance Prevaileth

Make no mistake, being everything you can possibly be is not easy. Endurance comes through suffering - and cycling is largely self-induced suffering. Through our own pain, we must endure. When we perceiver, we develop hope - an internal belief in ourselves that we are more than the sum of a bunch of old and worn out parts. I can tell you from explicit personal experience, overcoming the natural tendency to not pushback is necessary for our own growth. If it's easy, don't expect a reward. If it's hard, don't expect a reward either. Rather, take comfort in knowing that you have overcome hardship and won yet another battle in the war we call life.



Ride HARD!


Monday, July 3, 2023

Ah....the struggles



When inspiration matters

I can't image a time in my life when a little inspiration at the right time wasn't appreciated. It seems far too often that I have wandered aimlessly, only in hope of some external force coming along to push me on my course. The truth is, sometimes we can be our own inspiration - if we look deep enough. Occasionally we have to unpack enough to actually get to a few items that make us appreciate what we have and were we've been.

Teams, Cheerleaders and Solid Friends

Being part of something larger than yourself is a good thing. It kind of makes you feel.....larger than otherwise. Sure, there are times that you may feel like you don't really belong, but you are still integral to the unit. It's kind of like being a tiny moon of an otherwise much larger and significant planet. Everyone matters. The human desire to feel needed, wanted, important - never really goes away. Perhaps a willingness to seek and act may diminish, but we all have the fundamental need.

Having played team sports in my growing and early adult years, I learned how maturity and experience changes the end result. As kids playing summer baseball, it was all a lot of joking around, but building friendships that would last. By high school, a separation of the herd began. Those that are more serious, gifted and/or dedicated begin to stand out. So many times, those with natural inherent gifts become a custom to always being the best and refuse the work ethic that is otherwise required for long term success. Those ones eventually blow away in the breeze. By college, these are all guys that know their business. Early on there may be a couple that aren't as willing to sacrifice and they will also eventually disappear. The mistake regularly made is living through the assumption that these experiences mold us into something we really aren't. In my personal case, going that far introduced me to the path I needed to find, making it possible to be where I am today. I wouldn't say it made me something I already wasn't. It simply helped me find the door to becoming the engineer I have wanted to be since I was fifteen-years old.

Bus Rides

Traveling to and from games on a bus could be one of those moments you remember with either great distain, or fondness. Believe me, I had a trove of both. Our Junior year, we hard-scrabble lucky dogs that were allowed to play junior varsity, had just pounded the crap out of an opposing team - out just near the edge of nowhere. The very long bus ride home was a hoot - a lot of fun. The bus driver playing the radio loader than usual. I never realized there were so many alternate words to the popular songs of the day. That particular game, I took a pretty good hit, but was genuinely proud to be with that group of knuckle-heads. We all played at our very best and showed a lot of comradery in the process. It was hot and hard, but we played well - as a team. Individually we seemed to be at our zenith. The bus ride home was an affirmation of that much larger thing to which we all belonged. 

Cheerleaders

Our senior year we had to play a rare Saturday game - away. Away games were always tough, in that they made it hard for fans to attend. Add to that the complication of a Saturday and well....it was different. In this particular case, it required a bus ride through Sardine canyon, up over a summit and down into Cache Valley. It was a reasonably cool morning, with the Autumn colors breaking, going through the canyon. Of course school busses are not known for there hill climbing ability, so it was a slow grind up to the summit. I don't remember exactly where it was, but it seems  just on the other side of the summit, on the down-hill side when the bus driver yelled back to us - "hey, look on the right side road". And just as the bus was picking up a little steam from gravity, we blew past our devoted cheerleaders - Tammy and the gang! We only caught a glimpse, but it was so cool. They had all got out of their bus and setup on the side of the highway - cheering us on! I'll never forget that moment, as it made me realize that sometimes supporting your team isn't just about showing up. We were all in IT together - whatever IT was going to be.

Solid Friends

After forty-plus some odd years, we still stay in touch. It's not "pissing-match", or anything like that, but more an awareness of each other. We all have our own lives, struggles and successes. More so, we have all moved passed our youth and are living our lives into the future. But our past.......may be in the past, but it defined who we would later become (the better and worse). I distinctly remember my last football game played in high school and college. They both ended in very disappointing defeats, but more...they sent me on my next course. Our final high school game was also our annual rivalry. It was raining, snowing, wet, cold and very muddy. Not a single blade of grass on that entire field. In the pre-game introduction, we starters and seniors all stood shoulder to shoulder - water dripping off our facemasks, soaked to the bone, but ready to do battle. Our strong-side tackle had broken his leg the week before in a meaningless win over a non-region team - but still took the field with us in the lineup. Sure, none of us were asked who'd we like to play with, but none of us would rather be with any other group of mutts at that particular time. A lot to be said about that game; how teams come together and individuals can derail that effort alone - but that's a story for another day. Ironically, a kid I lined up against most of that game would become a teammate and friend in college. 

Worlds Apart - Somehow...So Close Still.

I have often pondered how other kids my age grew up in their own little worlds. We had it good. Over the years I have met people that grew up in completely different places, with similar stories. Somehow, we had a lot in common. Sure, not everyone had even close to the same opportunities, but along that trail, we all experienced hardship, growth, love and betrayal. A lot of what we know now, we wouldn't want to know then. The innocence of our lives would wear away into the reality of our futures. Tragedy would take many, while yet others would continue living a charmed existence. What we didn't know, or couldn't truly appreciate, is that literally every decision we'd make would eventually have consequences. I swear, I can feel every potato-chip I have ever eaten, every time I get on my bike. Many of us of disappeared, without seemingly a trace - but they are still part of us. I have become friends with a guy that grew up as our rival. We have done business for many years. Nearly two years ago he was diagnosed with Stage-4 cancer and is fighting that battle to this day. Another friend made through business over the years, just lost his sweet wife to a nine-year battle with cancer. Married for pushing 50 years, theirs is a love story. Despite a few years age difference and having grown up on opposite side of the same town, we are not too different. You see, we all stood with our peers, our friends, our confidants, believing in our dreams and facing our fears together. The fact that some of us still value those relationships, doesn't mean we haven't moved on - rather the opposite. And moved on we have - some truly awesome people in that respect. I'm proud to have my associations with you and still call you friends.

"Like a Rock"

I did a post quite some time back, referencing a Bob Seger tune, where he writes "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then". The summer of 1980 was transformative and the beginning of the end of what innocence was left for any of us. In '84 he wrote another ballad dealing with the inevitability of leaving the past behind. Released in '85, he stated it was his own inner reflection of how his late teen-years as the period he thought to be at his peak. Not professionally of course, but that he didn't really know the weight and burden of life and how good he had it - as did all of us. The video starts with him pulling up to a rail crossing in an old and dirty 1960 Corvette. The train stops him squarely in his path, only to begin a moment of clarity and reflection. As he sees what is a representation of our youth through the passing rail cars, he can see on the other side glimpses of that age. What is also clear is what they can't see, but he is keenly aware - the things that stand between our innocence and what becomes our life. At one point they are all standing together facing the passing train as it obscures an unseen look into the future - as firm and as resolute as they can be in their convictions and dreams. Then, as if to a cue, they all turn and return back to their positions in life - to live out what will become their lives. The protagonist (Seger) ever so slightly smiles as to tell them - you are gonna have a great life.  As the crossing guard arms raise and the train passes, there is nobody on the other side - it was only a self reflection. The haunting siren of Rick Vitto's sliding-Telecaster sounds the bitter-sweet that is our own memories.

If we only knew. What we would we tell ourselves? Would it make a difference?

Ride HARD!

Sunday, April 30, 2023

Optimism; The beginning of a great year - albeit a slow start

 Welcome Back


Things have been a bit....delayed. The image above was taken on one of my last dirt rides in 2020 - the first week of November actually. A regular spot, this was a very early and cold Sunday morning, looking out over our little valley. This particular place is currently under nearly 100 inches of snow - and its the last week of April! Thus, the delay.....

Current Climate

Weather conditions aside, it has been one helluva year. Changes like I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams. I suppose one should truly be careful of which one may wish. Still, I remember three years ago and how uncomfortable everything seemed to be. Since then, I have learned how deadly being comfortable can be. To say my personal vistas have changed, really doesn't begin to draw a picture - but then it's not about me. The world, our world, is a different place. We may choose to lament the changes, or embrace the new opportunities. It's easy to write this, but I really hope I've the strength to do what what is needed. A test is sometimes hard, but sorting through the aftermath is how we choose to grow. We make our own choices as to accept a challenge and grow, or simply get comfortable and let our gifts wrought without the strain of challenge.

A commitment

I've kind of lost track, but I think this may be the 10th year riding for Huntsman. It was kind of a method I needed to find a purpose (a Porpoise) to continue riding. To say I didn't know what I was doing, would be accurate. I remember the night before the race that first year, I was busy putting my stuff together for the next day - almost ready for bed, when I felt "inspired" to write the name of my cousin on my jersey sleeve. She had been fighting the "big-C" (as John Wayne called it), but I hadn't any idea of her condition. She was something like eight years older than I, not to mention I hadn't any interaction with her in maybe thirty years. Still, that inspiration was real!. The next day was a struggle in a few places, but I distinctly remember looking at that name on my sleeve in a couple places, when I needed inspiration. My daughter (doing crew support that year), took a picture of my sleeve at the beginning of the race and at the finish line. She passed it on through social media, in hopes perhaps it would find its way to my cousin. That was a Saturday evening. Monday morning I received word that my dear cousin had lost her fight that very weekend. Nobody looks past those circumstances without inner-reflection - believe me, it sunk in. Since then, many things have happened. Go back and read some of my posts. Too many friends and relatives have lost this same fight. Enough so that I simply can't go on painting those pictures. Rather, I'm as committed as ever - I just need to find my own way.

Longing for the Struggle

The above image is of a road sign in Woodruff, Utah (taken in August a couple years back). That marks the return trip over Monte Cristo, back to Huntsville, having climbed it to get there. There is no doubt there is a ton of snow at this very location, at this moment. It is a grind, typically with a headwind fighting you most of the way back. As sadistic as it may otherwise sound, I miss this struggle. I'm always by myself and often have a rough time getting back to the top. I also think about key places on the LOTOJA racecourse with the some fondness. Knowing that I can prevail if only I choose to accept the suffering, gives me a sense of hope. Right...it sounds stupid, but it is a beast I know from past experience. The heat, the wind.....the downright suffering is worth it in the end. I do long for this struggle. It is of my own choice and making, but it is a cakewalk compared to what others have to deal with. After all, we are "beasts of burden" and are built to struggle. Lets make it a struggle of our own choosing and for the benefit of others - if we can.

SNOW!


That's my buddies bike at the Ant-Flat turn-off - taken just yesterday. That is still nine miles from Little Monte, which is likely under thirty-feet of snow at this very moment. Twelve mile from this point is the Monte Critso Camp Ground - likely under fifteen feet of snow (summer picture below). In short, we won't be going to Woodruff over this road unit July - if we're lucky.

Thanks for checking in. I hope you stick around for the season. We have a lot to discover!


Ride Hard!